


Sometimes, Life's a Bitch

by ShiieldMaidenofGondor



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Aromantic Character(s), Asexual character(s), Friendship, Gen, Lesbian Character, Platonic Relationships, Swearing, because aromantic visibility is rad as hell, more tags to be added later, so much fucking swearing, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiieldMaidenofGondor/pseuds/ShiieldMaidenofGondor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katie never asked for this. Katie never asked for the Fellowship of the Effing Ring to show up on her doorstep in the middle of a January snowstorm, she never asked to feed a bunch of hobbits for a week, and she sure as hell never asked to get pulled into Middle Earth, but sometimes, life's a bitch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unexpected House Guests

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, lovely readers! So awhile back, I made the mistake of reading a poorly handled fellowship-ends-up-in-our-world fic and I was faced with the uncontrollable urge to write oneself so to do it justice. So, this is my take on the classic trope. 
> 
> The only things I own here are my laptop and my OC. I do not own Lord of the Rings. If I did, I could afford a car.

Katie never asked for any of this. She was happy, well, as happy as a broke college student could be. She had a house that she shared with four fantastic friends, an education degree she was on track to finish, and a kitchen of her very own where she could stress-bake to her heart’s desire. 

But no. 

Normal and simple weren’t in the cards for Katherine Eileen Zimmer.

It all started on a really fucking cold January night. 

“ _Bye, bye, miss American pie_ ,” Katie sang to herself as she finished up the rest of her dishes. “ _Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry_ ,” she stacked as many clean plates as she could hold and shuffled over to the cabinet, putting them away. “ _Them good ol’ boys were drinking whiskey and rye,_ ” Katie padded back over to the sink in her fuzzy sock-clad feet and turned the cold water on, just enough to keep the pipes from freezing overnight. “ _Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die_ ,” Katie rested her hands on the countertop and looked out the window at the snowstorm still going strong. “ _This’ll be the day that I die_.” She’d shoveled that damn driveway right after dinner and already, it had been snowed over.

“Jesus, I need to get that song out of my head,” she muttered under her breath. She let out an exasperated sigh and let her wavy, dirty blonde hair out of its ponytail. Normally, she would have asked Dani or Sara for a new earworm, but they, along with her other two roommates, Alexis and Rebecca, weren’t back on campus yet. That was what she got for wanting to get away from her family early, she supposed. As Katie cast around for a new song, she went about closing all the blinds and making sure all the doors were locked for the night. 

“ _Poor old Johnny Ray,_ ” she began, trusting Come On Eileen to get American Pie out of her head. “ _Sounded sad upon the radio with a million hearts in mono_ ,” she went to the living room in the back of the house, double checking the lock on the back door. “ _Our mothers cried - sang along, who’d blame them?_ ” she closed the blinds on the windows in the living room and went to the dining room in the front of the house. “ _You’re grown - so grown up - so grown - you’ve grown up - now I must say more than ever - come on, Eileen_ ,” she closed one, two blinds in the dining room. “ _Too rah, loo rah, too rah, loo rye ay_ ,” she closed three, and finally the fourth. “ _And we can sing just like our fathers_ ,” Katie checked the lock on the front door and whirled around to face the inside of the house. 

“ _Come on Eileen!_ ” she sang loudly, bobbing her head and dancing badly to the sound of her own voice. “ _Oh, I swear - what he means - at this moment, you mean everything! You in that dress - oh my thoughts, I confess, verge on dirty_ ,” she got a bit of a running start and slid across the tiled kitchen floor. “ _Oh, come on, Eileen!_ ”

* * *

“ _I guess the change in my pocket wasn’t enough, I’m like, ‘fuck you,’ and ‘fuck her too,’_ ” Katie had gotten to the laundry as well as Cee Lo Green, when she heard a pounding on the front door.

“What the fuck?” she wondered aloud, checking the time on her phone - “two thirty in the morning, Jesus Christ, really?” she asked herself under her breath. Being the cautious woman she had learned to be in her twenty one years of life, she grabbed a hammer from her toolbox in the laundry room before going to the front door. Whoever it was pounded on the door again, and she thought she might have heard someone shouting. 

Katie shifted her grip on the eighteen ounce hammer and flipped on the porch light. She could hear the person - no, it was definitely more than one - yelling something when she turned on the light, but she couldn’t tell what was being said. Katie went to look through the small window in the door and saw, illuminated by her porch light, an old guy with a beard and some kind of wizard hat, some pretty-boy blonde with, she had to admit, really great hair, two kind of scruffy looking guys, a short guy with a huge beard, and what looked like four kids. All of them, every single one, looked like they had some manner of frostbite and had gotten lost on the way to a Comic Con or a Renaissance Faire. 

“My Lady,” she thought she heard the old guy yelling over the wind - _My lady? What century is this guy from?_ “We beg of you for shelter from the cold,” at least, she was pretty sure that was what he’d said. 

_Ha. Yeah fucking right, like I’m about to let a bunch of strangers into my house._

“Get off my property or I’m calling the police,” Katie threatened through the door. Scruffy Number One, the one with darker hair, exchanged a look with Old Guy and Pretty-Boy.

“Please, my lady, we mean you no harm,” Scruffy Number One said. 

“You expect me to believe that?” Katie asked, and Pretty-Boy had the nerve to smirk at her through the window. “No fucking way am I letting a bunch of strangers into my house to gang-rape me. I told you to get off my property, so go,” she said firmly, using a voice that she thought Dani would say was somewhere between her teacher voice and her angry voice. 

“My lady, please-” Old Guy began.

“Get lost!” Katie interrupted him with a yell, and still they didn’t move. 

“All we ask is shelter from the cold!” Scruffy Number Two said, well, more like shouted. 

“Fuck off, all of you! What part of ‘get off my property’ don’t you understand? I swear-” she was really getting on a roll and then Scruffy Number Two went and tried the doorknob. 

“Alright, that’s it, I’m calling the cops,” Katie said angrily, projecting her voice for them to hear her loud and clear, and she went downstairs to grab her phone from the laundry room. As soon as she had grabbed it though, she heard a click from upstairs and then a creak, followed by a rush of wind and a lot of footsteps. Katie ran up the stairs, her eighteen ounce hammer in her right hand while she frantically and clumsily tried to dial 911 with her left. However, as soon as she got to the top of the stairs, Pretty-Boy grabbed her from behind, holding her arms behind her back. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Katie cried, struggling against her captor’s grip and watching as the last of them stomped into her home, closing the door behind them. 

“Pleas, the little ones would not have lasted another hour in the cold,” Scruffy Number Two said. 

“So you break into my house? _That’s_ your answer? Don’t you have cars or something? Ever hear of a homeless shelter?” she asked, trying to hide her fear, because Jesus Fucking Christ, was she scared. A bunch of strangers - men, no less - just broke into her house and she was pretty sure they were crazy and were going to rape and kill her. _If I could just get to my room I could lock the door and call the police._

_Okay, Katie, we have a plan. Don’t fuck it up._

“We only ask for shelter for the night and then you will be rid of us,” Old Guy said to her. 

“What kind of lantern is this?” Katie turned her head to see that one of the kids was inspecting the lamp on the bookcase.

“You’re shitting me, right?” she said, momentarily distracted from her fear. The kid shook his head innocently. “What are you people, Amish? What the fuck kind of century are you living in that you don’t know what a damn lightbulb is?”

“A lady should not speak as such,” Scruffy Number Two said - Katie had noticed his eyebrows steadily rising every time she swore. She glanced towards the stairs that led to her room and saw that Old Guy was standing in front of them. _Okay, distract them until they move, then pull out the self-defense moves on Pretty-Boy._

“Fuck that shit,” she couldn’t resist replying with, if only to see Scruffy Number Two’s face contort a little more. She noticed Old Guy nod to Pretty-Boy who was still holding her arms behind her back and who had confiscated her hammer. The only things between Katie and her room were Pretty-Boy and Old Guy.

“If I let you go, will you be civil?” Pretty-Boy asked from behind her. She scoffed.

“Civil? You’ve got to be kidding me. You’re going to talk to _me_ about civility after you literally _broke into my house?_ ”

“I give you my word that none of us will harm you,” Scruffy Number One said, placing a hand on his heart and everything. Katie raised an eyebrow and gave him what Sara called her bitch face. He didn’t back down. She sighed. 

“You let me keep my hammer and my phone on me and I’ll hear you out,” she lied. 

“Of course,” Old Guy said. “Release her and give her back her hammer.”

As soon as Pretty-Boy’s grip slackened, Katie stamped hard on his instep and threw her head back in a head-butt. He winced a little at it but all she did was make him change his grip on her so that he had one arm around her shoulders and the other hand on her tricep. Digging up memories from the self-defense class her friend’s dad made the two girls take when they were thirteen, Katie dropped to a crouch, leaning forward a bit. To her complete and utter surprise, it actually worked and she managed to flip Pretty-Boy over and flat on his back. 

As soon as she was free, Katie made a mad dash for the staircase going up, but she barely had a foot on the first step when there was a sharp tug on her elbow and suddenly she was being restrained by Scruffy Number One. Pretty-Boy got to his feet and Katie was satisfied to see that she had made his nose bleed with that head-butt of hers. The rest of the chuckleheads wore expressions that varied between shock, anger, respect, and even outright laughter from Short and Beardy. 

“Let me go, I swear to god-” Katie said angrily, kicking at Scruffy Number One’s shins and struggling against his grip. 

“She means us harm!”

“She is only scared-” 

“She is no warrior, we are safe here-” 

“Excuse me,” Katie said loudly, interrupting the chuckleheads and their arguing. “ _She_ is right here and all _she_ wants is for the strange men to leave her house without hurting her.”

“We mean you no harm-” Scruffy Number Two repeated, but Katie interrupted him. 

“No! Stop that! You obviously do if you _holding me captive!_ ”

“She does have a point there, lads,” Short and Beardy said. 

“Can’t we just talk this all over with some tea or something?” one of the kids suggested. The one next to him slapped him upside the head.

“Who the fuck _are_ you people?” Katie couldn’t stop herself from asking. 

“We’re the Fellowship of the-” one of the kids started to say before another cut him off with a hit to the shoulder.

“Pippin! You can’t just go telling strangers what we’re up to!”

_Wait._

_Did he say-_

_No. No fucking way._

“I’m sorry, what did you call him?” Katie asked the kid who had just spoken, hoping against hope that she had heard him wrong. 

“Pippin,” he repeated himself. 

“Oh, you gotta be fucking kidding me,” she said, and as she scanned the men again, she saw it. She fucking saw it. It was the fucking Fellowship of the Ring. “This can’t be real, you guys are actors, right?” she said, it was the only thing that made sense. 

“Actors, my lady?” Scruffy Number One asked from behind her. 

“You guys are all acting students, aren’t you? Did Jen put you up to this? I bet it was Jen-” 

“Who?” Short and Beardy asked. All of them shared the same perplexed look. 

“My friend Jennifer - did she get you guys to do this, like, to prank me or something?”

“We do not know of any Jennifer,” Old Guy said calmly. 

“No-” Katie said a bit softly. “No, no, no, there’s no way you guys are real, that’s impossible, you’re just actors,” she reasoned. _The Lord of the Rings is fucking_ fiction _and there is no way that these guys are the real deal._

“We are no actors and this is no play,” Pretty-Boy insisted. The rest of them nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah fucking right,” she said, craning her neck to get a good look at Pretty-Boy. “That’s a really good wig - and whoever did makeup for you guys did a really damn good job on those ears of yours,” she remarked. 

“It is no wig, it is my own hair!” he cried. He looked absolutely insulted. Short and Beardy started laughing again at Pretty-Boy’s indignation. 

What was when it hit her like a ton of bricks. They were real. The Fellowship of the Ring was actually fucking real and in her living room. 

“Let me go,” Katie demanded of Scruffy Number One, and Old Guy nodded that yes, it was okay to release the chick that had given Pretty-Boy a nosebleed. Scruffy Number One let her go. She didn’t say a word, only went to the bookcase, pushing Scruffy Number Two and a few of the kids - hobbits - aside on her way. 

“I can’t fucking believe this,” she muttered under her breath as she searched for the title she sought out. She pulled her old copy of The Hobbit from the shelf and handed it to Old Guy. She couldn’t bring herself to call them by their names; holy _shit_ this was weird. 

“The Hobbit,” Old Guy read aloud, “by J.R.R. Tolkien.”

“If I’m right, and I think I am, then there is something really fucked up going on here, but I need to figure out what before I can do anything about it,” Katie said as Old Guy skimmed the book. 

“Riddles in the dark,” he muttered under his breath. 

“Thirty white horses on a red hill,” Katie recited. She knew that damn book too well. It had been a bedtime story when she was a kid and the rest was history.

“First they champ, then they stamp,” another voice continued the riddle and Katie looked to see it was one of the curly haired kids. 

“Then they stand still,” she finished it, a bit dazedly. This was becoming the weirdest day of her life. And that was including Rebecca’s twenty-first birthday _and_ last Halloween. There was a beat of silence before Scruffy Number Two spoke up. 

“Now is not the time for riddles, what is the meaning of this book? he asked. Old Guy closed the book and looked up at Katie in question. She shrugged. 

“It seems that we have traveled farther than we intended,” he said. “Across worlds and perhaps through time as well,” he continued. the men all looked very surprised and wary and Katie was still getting over the fact that the _fucking Fellowship of the Ring_ was real and they were _in her house_. Suddenly, all eyes were on her. 

“How do you know of us and our purpose?” Scruffy Number One asked dangerously. Katie gulped. 

“Shit. I said that out loud, didn’t I,” she muttered. “Just lemme get another book, I’ll explain,” she said, holding her hands up in surrender when she noticed a lot of them going for their weapons. 

They let her through and she snatched up her copy of Fellowship from the bookcase. She found the chapter where they climbed Caradhras - _that’s probably where they’re at, given the snow_ \- and looked around for a bookmark. She eventually just stuck a hair tie in the page and flipped back through to the council chapter. After a little deliberation, she handed it to Scruffy Number One. He took it from her hesitantly, but began reading aloud from the council of Elrond. When he got to a stopping point, she interrupted him. 

“This book is your story,” Katie said, “you guys are _fictional characters,_ you can’t be real, this is crazy.” She turned from them and stalked into the kitchen, running a hand through her hair as she opened the fridge. “This is impossible,” she muttered under her breath as she grabbed a beer and closed the fridge. She set the bottle on the counter while she dug through the silverware drawer for the bottle opener. 

“How is it so cold?” Katie jumped about a mile when one of the hobbits spoke up from beside her.

“ _Jesus_ , warn a girl when you’re walking up next to her,” she said. “Tolkien wasn’t kidding when he said that hobbits were light on their feet,” she muttered as she returned to the silverware drawer and found the bottle opener. As soon as the cap was off, the bottle was at her lips. If Katie was going to deal with this, she was going to need to be at least a _little_ buzzed. 

“She swears _and_ she drinks?” she heard Short and Beardy - _Gimli, better start calling them by their actual names -_ say. Katie looked up and saw that they had all followed her into the kitchen. “If you weren’t so tall and hairless, I might misquote you for a dwarrowdam!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, master dwarf,” she said, nodding to him and taking another drink. 

“So, er, my Lady-” Boromir started to say, but Katie cut him off. 

“Okay, enough of the ‘my lady’ bullshit,” she said firmly. “I’m no lady, just a broke college kid. Call me Katie,” she said, resigning herself to the fact that these people would be in her house at least for the night. 

“Then you should have our names as well!” piped up one of the hobbits. 

“I think that perhaps she already knows them,” Old Guy said with a little twinkle in his eye, as if he found all of this funny. Katie shrugged. 

“Sure do, Gandalf,” she said to the old wizard, and he smiled back at her. “This is fucking surreal,” she couldn’t stop herself from saying before taking a deep breath and beginning to name the rest of them. 

“Well, we have Gimli over here,” she said, nodding at the dwarf, “our pretty-boy princeling, Legolas,” (she got another chuckle out of Gimli with that and a scowl from the elf), “scruffy number one and scruffy number two, our Lords of Gondor, Aragorn and Boromir,” she said, and when she did, the ranger began to go for a dagger. “Yes, I know you’re Aragorn, would you prefer I call you Strider instead? Or maybe Thorongil or Estel or Elfstone?” she countered his unspoken protest. He shook his head, though he looked a bit disconcerted by all the names she rattled off. 

“Aragorn is fine,” he said. “Go on.”

“Alright then,” Katie said, turning to the hobbits and taking another sip of her beer. “You’re Frodo,” she continued, pointing to the dark haired one. He nodded. “And you’re Sam,” she said, pointing to the slightly larger one, and he nodded as well. “But help me out here,” she said to the remaining two, “who’s Merry and who’s Pippin?” Katie noticed them exchange a mischievous look before they opened their mouths to respond. “And don’t you dare give me each other’s names as your own.” They deflated a little at her having caught her plan, but Katie was feeling rather proud of herself. Maybe all those teaching internships really _were_ paying off. 

“I’m Merry,” the one on the left said, “and I’m Pippin,” the one on the right continued. Katie nodded and turned back to the company as a whole. 

“Well, I suppose that’s that. But how the fuck did you end up here? Shouldn’t you guys be on your way to Mordor right now?”

“You know of our quest?” Legolas asked sharply, reaching for one of his knives. 

“Calm your tits, Pretty-Boy,” Katie said, “I know about the quest and I know about the lump of gold that Frodo’s carrying.” There were a few beats of silence and she noticed that Sam was shivering. 

“Hey, you guys wanna get out of your wet clothes to warm up? I can throw your cloaks in the dryer, I think, or we could just hang them to dry, that’s probably safer, they might shrink in the dryer, but the offer still stands,” she said, catching the words that had been running away from her a little bit. Through a series of nods, looks, and shrugs, they seemed to come to a decision and they started to unclasp their cloaks and offer them to her. Katie raised an eyebrow. 

“Yeah, no, I’m not doing all the work for you,” she said, moving through them to get to the basement stairs. When she reached the bottom, she was alone. She looked up the stairs and saw them staring down at her. “Well come on,” she said, and they started down the stairs while she pulled out the drying rack. She set it up quickly and the hobbits draped their cloaks over it, but there wasn’t much more room. 

“Alright, uh,” Katie said to herself, ignoring Aragorn who was saying that they would be fine and they didn’t need dry cloaks. “Ah, yes, that’ll work,” she said, pushing through them again to dash back upstairs and grab a few chairs from the dining table. 

“Can we give you a hand, my Lady?” Boromir asked from the top of the stairs. 

“I told you, it’s Katie, and yeah, if you wouldn’t mind,” she said. The Gondorian captain grabbed two of the chairs and passed them to Aragorn and Legolas who carried them down to the basement. Once they had enough, Katie instructed them to drape their cloaks over the chairs and let them be for awhile while she grabbed a few blankets to throw in the dryer. On her way, she stepped in a very cold puddle. 

“Oh, really?” she muttered. “Are you guys all still wearing your shoes?”

Merry opened his mouth to say something.

“Except the hobbits,” Katie added and he nodded with a grin. She took a quick glance around at the others’ feet and sure enough, they were still wearing their boots. 

“Alright, boots by the door,” she said firmly, pointing towards the mat by the front door that was used for that very purpose. It was weird, watching them all obey like that. They followed her instruction and took off their boots by the door, like kids obeying their mother. _So fucking weird,_ she thought to herself. She glanced at the clock - 3:12 AM. _Eh, could be worse._ She remembered the blankets in her arms and took them downstairs, stuffing them in the dryer to warm them up. She pressed the start button and headed back up to the kitchen. 

“What’s that noise?” Sam asked when Katie reached the top of the stairs. 

“The dryer,” she answered. “It’s uh, well, it’s a machine that dries your wet laundry,” she explained. “I just put a few blankets in there, they should be warm in a few minutes-” she was cut off by the sound of a growling stomach. 

“Y’all hungry?” she asked them collectively. _Might as well feed them_ , she figured. The hobbits nodded emphatically and the other men nodded as well. With a long-suffering sigh, Katie went to the kitchen and opened up the fridge to see what leftovers she had. There was some tomato soup, a little leftover pizza, and when she checked the freezer, she found the frozen lasagna that her grandma had sent her off to school with. 

“How do you guys feel about tomatoes?” she called over her shoulder as she pulled the lasagna tray from the freezer. There were a few yeses but no nos, so she set the lasagna on the counter and set about preheating the oven. 

“What is this?” one of the hobbits asked. 

“Lasagna,” Katie answered. She turned to see puzzled faces all around. “It’s, well it’s like, uh,” she paused to figure out how to explain it. “It’s noodles and tomato sauce and lots of cheese,” she explained as best as she could. “Plus, my grandma made it, so it’s fucking delicious.”

That sent the hobbits into a discussion over what foods their own grandmothers made and it descended into what Katie had the feeling was a long-standing argument over who made the better pie crust: Grandma Took or Grandma Brandybuck. The rest of the Fellowship was standing back kind of awkwardly, simply observing her house. They seemed fascinated by things Katie took for granted - the upholstery on the large plaid couch in the living room, her roommate’s pottery that lined a lot of the shelves, even the fucking _binding_ on her copy of the Fellowship of the Ring-

Aragorn still had her copy of Fellowship of the Ring.

Katie went over to him where he was seated at the kitchen table, reading. 

“What part are you at?” she asked him. 

“We are being attacked by wolves in Hollin,” he said, looking up at her. Her eyebrows shot up. 

“Okay, that’s enough reading for you,” Katie said, snatching the book out of his hands. 

“What are you doing?”

“You can’t just read ahead,” Katie said, “you’re _living_ this shit, what happens if you read too far ahead and find out what’s happening and then end up changing things?” she said, willing her eyes not to flick to Gandalf or Boromir. 

“She does have a point,” _speak of the devil and he shall appear,_ Katie thought as Gandalf spoke up. 

“Thank you,” Katie said, and with that, she took Fellowship with her to the bookcase where she plucked the rest of the trilogy off of the shelves. She considered taking The Hobbit from Gandalf as well, but after some thought she figured that as it was in their past, it couldn’t hurt. She dashed up the stairs to stuff the books in her closet and was quick to return downstairs. 

“Are you guys thirsty?” she asked them, reciting the polite question that her mom had been drilling into her skull since she was six. There were a few nods from them and she went to the fridge, noticing that Merry and Pippin were following her. “Well,” she began, scrutinizing the contents of the fridge. “I’ve got four - no, five - decent bottles of beer, a few cheap cans, milk, water, orange juice, and I think that’s apple cider in the back?” she reached for the jug to check the label. “Yeah, apple cider. Pick your poison.”

“Poison?” she heard Legolas ask from behind her. 

“It’s just a figure of speech, I just meant pick your drink,” she explained while she continued to loot through the fridge. 

“I’ll take a beer if that’s alright, lass,” Gimli said, and she set the bottle on the counter. 

“Anyone else for a beer?” Katie asked over her shoulder. Aragorn and Boromir shared a look before they both shrugged and took bottles for themselves. Soon enough, everyone was nursing some sort of drink and they had lapsed into silence. _This is so fucking surreal._ Katie couldn’t get over this. The _Fellowship of the Fucking Ring_ was in her kitchen. In her _kitchen,_ for fuck’s sake!

Anyway, they ate her lasagna, finished off the last of her beer, and polished off her leftover pizza and by the time they were done, it was 4:03 AM. 

“Okay,” Katie declared with a yawn, “I don’t care if you’re all older than me, it is bedtime and you cannot tell me otherwise.” Thankfully, none of them spoke up to argue. “Hobbits, are you guys okay with sharing couches?” she called over her shoulder as she trooped up to the linen closet on the second floor. There was a chorus of “yeses” from downstairs. Katie reached the closet and grabbed a large stack of blankets, large enough to require two hands for carrying. She kicked the closet door shut and headed back downstairs to her more than unexpected guests. 

“Okay then,” she said from behind the blankets in her arms. “Hobbits, each of you take a blanket.” The four of them obeyed and once four blankets were gone from her pile, Katie could actually see in front of herself again, which was a nice bonus. “You four go claim your couch spots,” she said, then turning to the remaining five. “You guys are gonna be stuck on the floor, unless one of you wants the lumpy-ass armchair.” They all opted for the floor. 

Once the fucking _Fellowship of the Ring_ was settled in her living room - no, nobody needed to keep watch at the doors, Jesus Christ - Katie made sure the doors were locked (habit), turned out the lights, and trooped up to bed herself. She closed her bedroom door behind her and leaned back against it with a heavy sigh.

Because _holy fucking shit,_ what the actual hell was her life right now? _No, Katie, chill. Worry about it in the morning. Sleep. Sleep is all that matters right now._

Katie was surprised she managed to change into her pajamas before she collapsed into bed. She was asleep the second her head hit the pillow. 


	2. Sweatshirts and Family Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's difficult to get comfortable in a new world, even more so to get comfortable with the idea of a bunch of hobbits, men, a wizard, an elf, and a dwarf residing in your house for an indefinite amount of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, I do not own Lord of the Rings. The only thing here that I can call my own is my OC.

_Knock knock knock._

Katie grumbled and rolled over in her sleep. 

_Knock knock knock._

"Go away," she mumbled into her pillow.

_Knock knock knock._

"What?" she snapped, and the knocking stopped, only to be replaced by the squeaking of her door hinges - by her guess (based on the noise), the door was only opened a crack, though.

"Miss Katie? Are you awake?" someone asked - she guessed it was one of the hobbits. 

"I damn well am now," she said under her breath. "Yeah, whaddaya want?" she asked, loud enough to be heard through the door. 

"We hoped you might show us how to use your stove," the voice asked. Katie groaned and rolled back over in bed to get a look at her clock. It was seven in the fucking morning. She really did not want to get up. But, she also  _really_ didn't want these hobbits to burn her house to the ground, so somehow, she managed to haul herself out of bed. Katie navigated her way through her messy room to the door and opened it to see Sam standing there, looking hopeful and hungry. Katie sighed. 

"Alright, come on," she conceded, closing her door behind her and brushing past Sam to lead the way downstairs. As she walked, she threw her hair up into a messy knot on the top of her head. "Okay, so, breakfast," she muttered under her breath as she opened the fridge and scanned its contacts. Her eyes finally settled on her two cartons of eggs (she'd been planning on some baking, but so much for that now) and on a loaf of bread. Breakfast was going to be eggs and toast and if these fictional characters didn't like it, they could shove it up their fictional asses. 

Katie really needed some coffee. 

Making that her first priority, hungry hobbits be damned, she got the coffee maker started. Once it was going, though, she pulled out the eggs and a large bowl. There were - how many? - ten people she had to feed, including herself. Katie ended up with eighteen eggshells in her trash can that morning. She trusted Sam with the task of beating said eggs and went to fetch a frying pan and turn on the stove. On another note, her coffee was almost ready. 

Sam finished with the eggs and so while the pan was heating up, Katie educated Samwise Gamgee in the art of the toaster. He seemed to get it, so when her coffee was ready, she left him to it. (He undertoasted the first one, burnt the second, but by the third her got the hang of it). By the time Katie poured her first cup of coffee, the pan was hot. She got out a large bowl for all of the eggs once they were done and got to work. It ended up taking four batches to scramble all those eggs. She was definitely going to be guilting these men into doing her dishes for her. 

Katie set the eggs on the counter with strict instructions to the hobbits not to take seconds until everyone had had firsts and then retreated to her coffee (although she did take a serving of eggs and a slice of toast with her). 

As the rest of the Fellowship woke and wandered into the kitchen, they were greeted by the sight of Katie sitting on her kitchen counter, nursing her second cup of coffee while her dirty plate sat on the counter beside her. But each and every one of them seemed to be acting a bit awkward around her. She greeted them as politely as three hours of sleep plus one finished cup of coffee allowed, but hardly any of them would even make eye contact with her. It was weird. 

"Okay, what's you guys' deal?" she finally asked, and they all looked up, but still not directly at her. 

"What do you mean?" Legolas had the audacity to ask. 

"You guys are avoiding me like the plague, that's what I mean, and I want to know why," she said plainly, folding her arms across her chest. They exchanged looks and pointed glares until finally Gimli spoke up.

"It's nothing much, lass, it's just that your attire is a bit, eh, revealing, and some of the lads are a bit uncomfortable about it," he explained. Katie looked down at herself. Oh, right. She was wearing  _that_ shirt. It was one of her favorite sleep shirts, but the old, ratty, and baggy tank top did have some pretty wide arm holes that tended to show off a little side boob. Oops.

"I'll go change then, problem solved," she said simply, taking a swig of coffee and then pushing herself off the counter.

In her room, she threw on a t-shirt instead (and a bra as an afterthought) and was back downstairs in a flash. They were considerably less awkward now. Things calmed down, they finished breakfast, and Katie managed to convince Boromir to help her with the dishes. She stuck him with washer duty.

"Do you live alone, Lady Katie?" he asked once they had established a nice assembly line. 

"I've told you, just Katie, but now, I don't," she replied, taking a clean plate from him and beginning to dry it off. "I live with four other girls my age - early twenties if you wanna know," she added with a smirk. "But they're not back on campus yet," she said to explain their absence. 

"Back on campus?"

"Yeah, see we all go to the school here in this town, like, higher learning for the professions we want to go into," she explained. "We just had our winter break, but I came back early to get away from my family."

"You say that this learning is for professions you want to pursue?" Boromir asked, steering the conversation away from what he sensed to be the sore spot of her family. Katie nodded.

"Yeah, like, one of my roommates, Alexis, is studying to be a nurse. Dani is an art major - see all those gorgeous bowls?" Katie said, going over to one of the cabinets and pointing out a specific stack. Boromir nodded. "She made all of those, she wants to be a potter," she bragged.

"And what of yourself?" Boromir inquired. 

"I'm studying English Education, so eventually, once I'm done with school, I'll be teaching kids to read, write, understand, and appreciate literature, write  _well_ , and other stuff like that," she explained. Boromir raised hie eyebrows at that, but from what Katie could tell, he looked impressed. 

"You must be an intelligent woman, then," he assessed. Yep, impressed. 

"I like to think so," Katie said with a shrug and a little smile.

They finished up the dishes fairly quickly after that and the next hour found them in various places about the house. The hobbits were gathered at the kitchen counter, talking amongst themselves; Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas were at the dining table, discussing how they'd all ended up in central Illinois in the first place; and Boromir, Gimli, and Katie were in the living room, the latter nursing her third cup of coffee for the morning.

By nine o'clock, the hobbits were hungry again and that meant second breakfast. Katie ended up making them a pound of pasta, but they were still hungry.  _Like the frickin hungry hungry caterpillar,_ she remarked inwardly. She was going to need to go grocery shopping. 

Once she convinced the Fellowship that no, she did not need anyone to go with her; yes, they would be perfectly safe in her home; and yes, she would kill them if they burned down the house, even by accident; she was out the door.  _What the actual fuck was her life?_ Her trips to Aldi and Dollar Tree ended up putting a serious dent in her bank account. These guys owed her big time. Especially for the sweatpants and t-shirts and other clothes she picked up at the dollar store and the thrift shop for them all. 

She pulled her blue station wagon back into her driveway, trunk jam-packed with food and cheap men's clothes. Shifting to park, turning on the parking brake, and removing her keys from the ignition, she jammed her hat back on her head, returned her scarf to its rightful place around her neck, and stepped out of the car, her snow boots leaving tracks in the white shit on her driveway. She grabbed two bags in each hand and stomped up her front stairs, only to remember that the door was locked.

"Hey, someone come get the door!" she shouted, kicking the door a few times. She caught the sound of feet shuffling and saw a head peeking around the corner into the front room. Katie rolled her eyes at Aragorn who was now approaching the door and when he opened it for her, she brushed past him, pushing two of her bags into his hands. 

"Go put this stuff in the kitchen, I'm gonna go get the rest."

"Do you need help?" he asked, even as Legolas and Boromir were walking into the room.

"No!" Katie dissented sharply, catching the three men off-guard. "I mean, I've got it," she backtracked. 

"It's no trouble," Boromir insisted.

"Guys, I appreciate the offer, but you're not exactly inconspicuous, just look at yourselves," Katie finally said with a sigh. The three of them exchanged looks, observing each other, only to turn back to Katie with slightly puzzled looks on their faces. "Oh, for god's sake, just  _stay_ _here_ and I'll be back with the rest of the shit," she said firmly, walking out the door and slamming it behind her. Grumbling to herself about damn chivalrous and stubborn nobility, she stomped back out to her car and pulled the next five bags from the trunk. She dropped them inside the door, gave the guys a severe look to keep them from following her, and fetched the three remaining bags. 

Katie ended up supervising with Gandalf while the rest of the Fellowship put away the groceries. It was pretty damn great. At least, until Legolas came across the first bag of clothes. 

"Katie, what is this?" he asked, looking up from the bag he had been rifling through. Katie pushed herself off of the counter where she'd been sitting and came over to the table where the elf was examining the thrift shop bags. 

"This is for you guys," she said, pulling sweatshirts and t-shirts and worn-out flannel button downs out of the bags and laying them out on the table. "You guys were so damn stubborn about helping me with my errands, but since I'm pretty sure you'd give my elderly neighbors heart attacks if they saw you looking like you normally do, I thought I'd get some stuff to make you lest conspicuous. That is, if you want, I don't know, it was just a thought. Also I guarantee that sweatpants will be the comfiest things you ever wear," she declared. The guys had gathered around her and the bags had started digging through to see what they could find. 

"I had to guess on the sizing for it all," Katie told them, running a nervous hand through her hair. "I did what I could with what I could afford."

"How much did this cost you?" Boromir was quick to ask, and as much as Katie wanted to tell them exactly how much they owed her, he just looked so damn  _guilty_. "Don't worry about it, at least not for now," she said, waving away his worry, though he still looked reluctant to take anything from the bags. "Look, if you want to repay me, then somebody can go shovel the snow on my driveway while I teach Sam how to use the stove so I can nap through elevensies and lunch." Boromir started to go for the door and his boots, but Katie stopped him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To shovel your snow," he answered simply, and it took nearly everything Katie had in her not to rip her hair out.

"Did you forget the thing about how y'all stick out like a sore thumb? Put on some normal clothes and  _then_ you can shovel my snow," Katie directed him, and surprisingly to her, he followed her direction. He found a pair of sweatpants that looked like they might be long enough and grabbed a few shirts so he could figure out what fit and what didn't, and he dropped up to the bathroom to change.

When he came back downstairs, Katie was pleasantly surprised. And really damn tempted to get his hair up in a man-bun. He had found a pair of grey sweatpants and a reddish flannel button down, though it looked as though he had been unable to button the collar. Honestly, it worked on him. 

"Alright then. In the closet by the front door there's a large coat, like, really fucking big, and it should fit even you," Katie said as Boromir was lacing up his boots. Her dad, her six-foot-four and very broad-shouldered dad, had let her take his carheart jacket to school with her and she had expected to wear it when the weather got unbearably cold, but now it was just incredibly lucky that she had it. It fit Boromir pretty damn perfectly actually, which was a sight in itself, and Katie was finally ready to admit that he could pass for a normal guy. She showed him where she kept her snow shovel, warned him against scratching her car, and put him to work. This was great.

Sam got the hang of the stove real quick and once he was acquainted with the kitchen and where she kept everything (and once she found her step-stool), Katie could say for the first and probably last time that she trusted a hobbit in her kitchen. With that, she retreated up to her bedroom for a much needed nap.

* * *

By the afternoon of the Fellowship of the Ring's second day in Katie Zimmer's house, she was on the brink of a breakdown. She was going insane. she had never cooked so many meals in such a short stretch of time before. She swore that hobbits not only had two hollow legs, but they probably had seven stomachs too - one for each meal of the day. And the  _questions_ , good lord the  _questions_. They were all so damn curious. Katie found herself talking about everything from what her roommates were like to where the nearest brewery was to explaining the goddamn checks and balances system in regards to the three branches of the United States Government. 

Katie was exhausted. She couldn't handle this. She was an introvert at heart and this was far too much human (and dwarf and elf and a hobbit and a wizard) interaction for her. So she may or may not have introduced the Fellowship of the Ring to modern cinema.

She  _did_ have to answer questions about how TVs and the internet work, plus giving them some context, but they seemed to enjoy Disney movies, so that gave Katie a bit of a rest. She pulled up Netflix and let them have at it. They agreed that  _Fantasia_ was beautiful but kind of weird and they loved the story of  _Mulan_. Katie herself was entertained by their reactions to  _Jumanji_ and once they moved on to her dvd collection, she was pleasantly surprised by how well they took to the  _Harry Potter_ series. 

Thanks to Gandalf taking a long-ass time to figure out how to get them back to Middle Earth, the Fellowship plus Katie had the time to begin morphing into something of a mildly dysfunctional family. Katie was the default authority on practically everything, Sam and Frodo did most of the cooking, and Aragorn and Boromir took turns shoveling the driveway. Sometimes Legolas would join Katie on grocery runs, his ears hidden underneath a hideous laplander, and Gimli, Merry, and Pippin were always ready to help with whatever chores needed to be done around the house. It was pretty damn great, even if the grocery expenses were breaking the bank and theyw ere more cramped than a pack of sardines. 

As obnoxious as they all could be, Katie found that these dorks were growing on her. Sam was one of the kindest souls she had ever met, though he could be a bit of a mother hen, while Frodo had a certain amount of sass to him and it really started to come out a few days after they first arrived; he was a snarky little shit when he wanted to be. Merry and Pippin were textbook partners in crime; Tolkien had not been lying about the two of them.

Gimli loved to tell stories and hear them in return. Katie had heard a fuck-ton of stories about Erebor over the last few days. Boromir was frustratingly chivalrous, but once he got comfortable (or once you got a few drinks in him) he loved to tease people. Katie found herself exchanging good-natured barbs with him more than once and it was fucking fantastic. What surprised Katie the most was Aragorn and Legolas. Once they accepted that they couldn't do anything to help Gandalf figure out this shitstorm, they relaxed and once they had chilled out, they were almost as bad as Merry and Pippin. They were little fucking shits and were constantly giving Katie a hard time about something or other.

They were a bunch of obnoxious little farts.

There was one night - Katie thought it might have been the fourth night? - where they had ended up all seated together in the living room - even Gandalf sat in the armchair, having been convinced to take a break - that they just talked. They had been talking about idle things until Gimli picked up a framed photo on the end table beside the couch. 

“Is this your family, lass?” he asked, turning the photograph towards Katie. She gave him a nod and a strained almost-smile. The photo was a selfie that Katie had taken two summers ago on Father’s day; her dad was crouched in the front with Katie and her phone, the dog between them, while her mom and brother leaned in behind them to fit in the frame.

“Yeah,” she said tightly. “Yeah, my mom, my dad, and my little brother Tommy,” she elaborated, “plus our dog, Simon,” she added with a warm smile.

“You don’t look much like them,” Pippin said from his seat beside the dwarf. Katie shrugged. It was true. She stuck out like a sore thumb; with her blonde hair and green eyes, she looked more like their golden retriever than she did her brown haired and brown eyed family. 

“Mom says I got my coloring from some Polish great aunt on her side,” she explained, watching her guests pass the photograph around the room. “I’ve got her nose, though,” she added with a little smile, “and people say we walk the same way.”

Apparently satisfied, conversation turned towards the rest of their families. Gimli told stories about his family in Erebor, Aragorn told a few anecdotes about growing up in Rivendell, and the hobbits went on and on about who was related to who and how exactly that worked. Boromir noticed, though, that Katie wasn’t entirely comfortable with this topic of conversation. While she had told them about her family, when conversation came back around to her, she only spoke at length about her teenage younger brother. 

Later that night, after most of the Fellowship had gone to sleep, Boromir found Katie in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea and fiddling with that small, rectangular device she always had with her. She nodded to him in greeting and said nothing as he closed the door behind him so that any conversation they might have would not wake the others. He got himself a glass of water and took a seat beside her, the pair of them sitting in silence for a few moments until Katie relaxed again. 

"My brother had always been the cleverer one of the two of us," Boromir began. He did not know what trouble Katie had with her family, but he hoped that by sharing his own tale with her, she would understand that he would listen if she chose to tell him. "I admire him for that. He is stubborn, tough, and wise beyond his years. He has an abundance of positive qualities, but our father does not see that," he said, his voice lowering as he spoke. Beside him, Katie set down her device and placed it face down on the countertop, its light and moving pictures now blocked from view.

"I have tried to make our father see Faramir's quality; I have done everything that I can, but he has a grudge that I cannot sway," Boromir continued. "It pains me to see it. Faramir tries his best to please him, to do his will, but all he gets in return is scorn. I would have my father see him for who he truly is, see him for the leader and scholar that he wishes to become, but I can do nothing," he finished, letting his words hang in the air around them.

"My parents- I," Katie started softly after a few moments of silence. "I know my parents love me," she tried again, this time with a little more confidence to her voice. "I know that they care about me and that they want what's best for me, but sometimes- sometimes what they think is best for me is about as far as you can get from what is  _actually_ good for me," she explained. Boromir's patient silence prompted her to continue. "About a week ago, a few days before I came back here, I told my parents something about myself that they didn't know. I came out with it and while they said they still love me, they took it hard. They didn't want to accept it. I think they're still in denial about it, to be honest, but I left home before I could find out."

Katie took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. 

"Tommy knew long before I told my parents about it, though, and he's as supportive as ever," she said, a grateful smile growing on her lips. "He told me this morning - sent me a message-" she gestured to the device on the counter, "that my mom said something about me just needing to 'find the right person' but that he defended me," she said. "I don't know what I did to deserve him as a brother," she said, and Boromir could hear the familiar tone of familial love in her voice. He was curious as to what she meant by her mother's words, but he let the matter drop. Beside him, Katie let out a sigh, running her hands through her messy hair. 

All at once, Boromir was struck by how much she had done for them. This young woman - this girl who was barely more than half his age and only came up to his chin - had taken them in, fed and clothed them, and all she had asked in return was for them to do odd jobs around the house. In this moment, she reminded him of Faramir - doing everything she could and asking for hardly anything in return. She actually reminded him a lot of Faramir, if he was being honest. She had the same scholarly mind as he did, content to spend hours with her nose in a book; she had a similar stubbornness and while she was a bit more jaded than Faramir, Boromir could still see her youthful hope for better times to come. 

"If your family will not accept you as you are, then they are fools," Boromir finally said, and Katie raised her head to look up at him with doubt, anxiety, and a faint glimmer of hope in her eyes. "You are a generous, intelligent, and kind young woman, Katie, and if they cannot look past their grudges to see those qualities then that is not your fault," he insisted, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

"Do not agonize over it. It is out of your hands," he said, repeating words he had told Faramir countless times over. Katie nodded in response and, taking Boromir by surprise, lowered herself from her barstool and went over to him, hugging him around his middle. It took Boromir a moment to hug her back, giving her comfort while she buried her face in his shoulder. Again, she reminded him of Faramir, for when he was only five years old, he had done the same at their mother's funeral. 

They stood there for awhile, the clock on the wall ticking away the seconds, until finally, Katie spoke. 

"Thank you," was all she said, but it was soft and muffled by Boromir's shoulder. 

"It's no trouble," Boromir insisted, carefully loosening their embrace so he could look her in the eye. "Family is not restricted to blood," he said, and Katie could feel the gravity of his words. "I may not have a sister, but I would be proud to have one like you," he said with a smile, bringing up a hand to wipe away a stray tear that had begun to roll down Katie's cheek. 

"Thank you," she said again, a slightly tearful smile upon her lips.

"Think nothing of it," Boromir insisted. "Go, get some rest, you'll feel better in the morning," he said. Katie nodded and with one more hug, she bid him goodnight and retreated up to her bedroom. 

* * *

 

On the sixth day since the Fellowship of the Fucking Ring had turned up on Katie's doorstep, they were sitting in the living room, bowls of popcorn in strategic places so that everyone could reach at least one of them and  _Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade_ playing on the TV.

_"The penitent man shall pass, the penitent man shall pass, the penitent man shall-"_

"Ha!" Indy's muttering about the saw trap was interrupted by a triumphant shout from the dining room where Gandalf had set up shop, writing things out and sketching things up and otherwise trying to figure out what the fuck had happened and how to undo it. It seemed like he had. 

"What?" Katie shouted to the wizard through a mouthful of popcorn. Merry slapped her lightly on the shoulder, wordlessly scolding her for her manners or lack thereof. There was a sound of a chair scraping against the floor and of papers rustling and all of a sudden, Gandalf was standing in the doorway of the living room. 

"I know how to get back!" the grey wizard told them, and the mood of the room turned somber. Going back meant leaving this comfort; going back meant not just returning to their home, but returning to their quest. 

It was time for them to go.

* * *

 

The next morning they got back into their traveling clothes, their cloaks fastened around their necks (though a few of them  _had_ stuffed sweatshirts and sweatpants into the packs). Gimli had a bottle of hard cider in his pack, Sam had taken a sampling of spices, and Aragorn had snatched Legolas's hideous laplander. Katie herself was now in possession of a small dagger from Aragorn because according to him, Legolas, Gimli, and Boromir, a young woman living alone (no matter the fact that she  _did_ have roommates) should have something better with which to defend herself than an eighteen ounce carpentry hammer. The blade was simple, its handle wrapped in black leather with a blade about half the length of her forearm. 

Katie stood with them now in her front hallway, having exchanged hugs with them all and waiting to say goodbye. She hugged herself around her middle, her new dagger in hand and shifting her weight from boot-clad foot to boot-clad foot (Boromir had insisted on shoveling her driveway one last time before they left and she had leant him a hand), and looked on with a surprising amount of sadness. She was really going to miss them. 

They bid her farewell and Gandalf recited the spell he had worked out, a ball of light growing from the tip of his staff and engulfing the Fellowship. The light was blinding and Katie threw an arm up to shield her eyes from the brightness of it all as a wind whipped around them, blowing her hair every which way.

When the light faded, Katherine Zimmer's home was empty.

 _Completely_ empty. 

"Are you  _fucking kidding me??"_ Katie shouted, her voice bouncing back from the mountains and echoing all around. 

"Lass?"

"What's she doing here?"

"Gandalf, what happened?"

"Someone better give me one of their goddamn thrift shop sweatshirts  _right now_ or I swear on my  _grandfather's grave_ I will castrate  _each_ and  _every_ one of you."

Katie never asked to get thrown into this shitstorm. She never asked to host the Fellowship of the Fucking Ring in her house for a week and she sure as hell  _never_ asked to get sucked back into Middle Earth with them. 

But sometimes, life's a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! No clue when I'll have the next chapter written by, but I'm working on it.
> 
> If you liked the chapter, let me know in a comment! Natalie out.


	3. Tooth and Hair Brushes (or the Lack Thereof)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Predicament" doesn't even begin to describe the situation that Katie has found herself in and no, she is not in denial about not being able to brush her teeth at all for the forseeable future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back! It took me a while, but I am proud to present chapter 3 of Sometimes, Life's a Bitch. 
> 
> I still don't own Lord of the Rings. All I can claim is my OC and my student debt.

Once they got over the shock of Katie being swept along for the ride back to Arda, both Aragorn and Boromir went digging through their packs for sweatshirts for the irate blonde woman. Boromir got there first and passed Katie a navy blue sweatshirt with the word “ILLINI” stamped across the chest in faded, slightly discolored orange and white ink. The hems of the sleeves were beginning to fray and the inside was pilled to hell, but it was warm, especially over Katie’s Jurassic Park t-shirt and flannel. Ignoring Legolas’s indignant exclamation at the sight of it, Aragorn passed Katie the infamous laplander and she jammed it onto her head, grateful to have something to keep her ears warm. Now that that had been taken care of, the woman turned to the wizard. 

 

“What the fuck happened?” she asked, as blunt and profane as ever. Gandalf gave her that exasperated look he seemed to reserve for her (or at least, for when she swore particularly colorfully), but after a moment, he had an answer. 

 

“I had thought the the spell would only affect those already tied to this realm, those who were born here. It seems that I was wrong. I am afraid, Miss Zimmer, that you were caught up in the blast, therefore bringing you back with us,” Gandalf explained. 

 

“Okay then, send me back!” Katie demanded impatiently. “Send me back home, I don’t want to be here! I’d like to go home to my indoor plumbing and electronics and vaccinations, thank you very much.”

 

“I’m afraid that cannot be done right now, Miss Zimmer,” Gandalf said regretfully. “We simply do not have the time for it at this moment. I suspect that it was a result of Saruman’s magic, bringing the mountain down upon us, that took our Fellowship to your realm in the first place, and though I was able to successfully bring us back, it took a great deal of time, as you well know. We are making for Moria and then Lothlòrien; there we may take counsel from the Lady Galadriel and take the time to send you home properly.”

 

Katie wanted to scream. Gandalf wasn’t going to _make_ it to Lothlòrien, not with the Fellowship, anyway. He wasn’t going to see Galadriel until he made a pit stop in Lòrien on his way to Fangorn to meet up with the three hunters, but she couldn’t say a _damn thing about it._ If she said something and Gandalf survived the Balrog, then they wouldn’t have the White Wizard to free Théoden, to turn the tide at Helm’s Deep, to generally save their asses. The free peoples of Middle Earth _needed_ Gandalf the White, so Katie kept her mouth shut and only nodded in acceptance of Gandalf’s decision, her lips a tight and disapproving line. 

 

* * *

 

As they walked — climbed, really — down the mountain, Katie reflected on the shitstorm she had found herself in. 

 

First things first, she was _fucking freezing._

 

Even with Boromir’s U of I sweatshirt and Legolas’s laplander, Katie could feel the cold of the snow, wind, and altitude cutting through her clothing and she thanked God above that she had been wearing her snow boots when Gandalf cast that spell. If she wasn’t, Katie knew for a fact that her toes would be soaked straight through her woolen socks. The wind was biting at her face, her fingers were freezing even as they were stuffed into her armpits, and she was hungry, too. 

 

Katie was not having a good day, to say the least. 

 

The further they hiked, the more Katie realized about her predicament. Katherine was a woman who valued cleanliness. She didn’t have a problem with getting dirty, she didn’t mind working up a sweat and she could manage a day or maybe two without washing her hair, but she really, _really_ loved a hot shower at the end of the day. That wasn’t going to be happening for awhile. If she was going to be along for the ride with the fellowship until they got to Lothlòrien, then it would be about a week, maybe more, until Katie got a bath, let alone a shower. (Actually, she probably wasn’t going to get a shower until she found her way home, come to think of it.) 

 

But hey, she could go a week without washing her hair, right?

 

Really, it didn’t matter. She was going a week without bathing whether she liked it or not. 

 

What Katie _really_ wasn’t going to be able to handle was her lack of a toothbrush.

 

Not washing or brushing her hair was one thing, but not brushing her teeth? That was another. Katie could live with a little oil in her hair. Katie could live with combing said hair with her fingers and braiding it back. What Katie _couldn’t_ live with was nasty, furry teeth. _God_ , just the _thought_ of it was disgusting. She wasn’t going to let that happen; she’d figure something out, improvise some kind of toothbrush-type-thing. People used to use sticks and shit to clean their teeth, right? Katie thought she remembered reading something like that in one of her history classes back in high school. Eh, she wasn’t sure. History had never been her strong suit.

 

She was just glad that her period had ended a few days ago. The _last_ thing Katie needed while running through the wilderness with these nerds (nerd, in this case, being a term of endearment) was to start shedding her uterine lining. That was another thing she could find out about in Lothlòrien - how in the hell women in Middle Earth dealt with that shit. Did elven women even _have_ periods? What about dwarven women? Hobbit women? That was something that was decidedly _never_ referenced in the books. 

 

But she was gonna be okay, for the next two and a half-ish weeks at least. Katie was just gonna be praying to God above, hell even the _Valar_ , that shark week didn’t come early this month. 

 

All of a sudden, Katie’s thoughts were interrupted by the company stopping short. Ahead of them, there was a massive snow drift. 

 

“Perhaps Gandalf, you might go ahead with a bright flame and melt a path for us,” Legolas suggested. Gandalf turned to the elf with an unamused look on his face. 

 

“If elves could fly over mountains, they might fetch the sun to save us,” the wizard retorted in a manner that Katie could (internally, of course) call nothing but salty. “At any rate, fire must have something to burn and I cannot burn snow,” he told them. At that point, Boromir got Aragorn to join up with him in digging a path through the drift and it was surreal to Katie, listening to this conversation playing out exactly as she remembered reading it. When Legolas started spouting off shit about running light over grass and leaf as well as snow, she had to bite back a smirk. 

 

“Farewell!” Legolas said as he sprang up onto the drift, “I go to find the sun!” 

 

As soon as the elf was out of sight, Katie spoke up. 

 

“The drift’s only about as thick as a wall, if I recall correctly,” she said, a little smirk on her face, letting the rest of the company in on the fact that she knew this before Legolas went off on his little scouting mission. The look that Boromir gave her reminded her sharply of the one that Katie’s brother would give her when they were kids and were about to do something that they’d no doubt have to talk their way out of later - mischievous, conspiratorial, a little resigned, but generally amused. Aragorn and Boromir returned to their task with renewed vigor thanks to the new knowledge from Katie. 

 

When Legolas returned with his news, a smug grin on his face, only to lean that they already knew what he was going to tell them, that smug grin melted rather quickly. Katie bumped his shoulder with her own in a good-natured way, and though his ego had been bruised, he didn’t seem to take it personally. They continued on their way, Katie’s mood slightly higher than it had been.

 

They took a break for the hobbits’ sake around midday. Katie wearily took a seat on a large boulder (after brushing off the snow), grateful for the opportunity to rest. They sat in silence, for the most part, and while Sam and Merry passed around rations, Katie took the opportunity to dig through her pockets. She’d found her phone, safe in its life-proof case with 86% battery life and no service; a beat-up tube of chapstick that she would probably lose within the week; a crumpled up old Kroger receipt; two hair ties, one old and ready to break and one that had barely been stretched at all; her earbuds, the play/pause button on which didn’t work anymore; a few bobby pins; exactly four dollars and sixty-four cents; the wrapper from a generic brand pack of fruit snacks; and an old cough drop. 

 

This was pathetic, though more than she had hoped for. 

 

Shoving most of her junk back in her pockets, Katie picked up her phone and pressed the home button, watching the screen come to life, displaying a photograph of herself with an arm around her friend, Nicole. The girls had been attached at the hip since they met in second grade and they had done a good job of holding on to their friendship once they both went to college. The wallpaper on Katie’s phone was a selfie she’d taken with her when they’d gotten together for New Year’s Eve that winter break, just before Katie made a decision that would seriously impact her relationship with her family. Shutting her phone off to conserve its battery, Katie stuffed the useless piece of technology in her back pocket and moved to rest her elbows on her knees, burying her hands in her hair. 

 

She had always had a good relationship with her family. Her parents were supportive, her brother was a pain in the ass, but they were close, and while some of her extended family held beliefs that she _did not_ agree with, most of them were alright. At least, everything was alright until the afternoon of January 2nd, 2016. That was when Katie came out to her parents as the aromantic lesbian she was. The gay thing had gone over fairly easily. Randy and Linda Zimmer were fairly open-minded people and were open to the idea that their daughter liked girls. Her dad had actually said that he’d suspected it ever since she was in high school. 

 

What hadn’t gone over as well was the whole aromantic thing. Katie had only recently figured out that little detail about herself and before that day, had only come out to Nicole, her roommates, and her brother, and each time she came out, it got a little easier to explain _what_ exactly the word aromantic meant. One would think it would be easier to understand the lack of romantic attraction, but Katie’s mother proved otherwise. 

 

To put it simply, Linda Zimmer had not handled it well. 

 

To put it in a more complicated way, she had a very difficult time understanding it. Among her confusion were such gems as ‘but _everyone_ falls in love,’ ‘you’re such a loving person, Katie,’ and ‘you just need to meet the right person.’ 

 

At least her dad was more understanding. After her mom had run away from her problems under the guise of going on a quick grocery run, her dad had moved to sit beside her and took one of her hands in his own. 

 

“She’ll come around,” he’d said gently. “You know how she is, it took her years to accept that we needed to replace that old couch and even longer to get used to having wifi,” he’d said, an almost-smile on his face as he moved to rub gentle circles on his daughter’s back. “We love you, Katie,” he had said firmly, “and nothing will ever change that. If you decide you want to marry a friend for tax benefits, I will walk you down the aisle. If you decide to have children, your mom and I will be the best grandparents we know how to be. And if you decide to live alone with a few dogs, then we will more than happily dog-sit for you.”

 

Katie had looked up at her dad then, tears in her eyes, and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. 

 

“Thank you,” she’d said softly, her voice muffled by her dad’s shoulder. 

 

“Of course, pumpkin,” he’d replied, holding her until she had calmed down enough to handle her brother giving her a hard time about crying over all this (though she had known that she was only doing it in an attempt to cheer her up). 

 

Even though her dad and her brother had been great about the whole thing, though, it was her mom’s reaction to it all that had had Katie packing up her things a week before winter break was due to end. Her mom hadn’t come around yet and she honestly didn’t think she could handle being around her for another week. Maybe she would be able to process it better without her daughter in the house. At least, that was what Katie told her dad when he asked why she was leaving early. In reality, she just couldn’t handle looking at her mom. Every time she did, she saw the look she’d worn on her face when Katie came out, a look that she could only describe as betrayal, because how dare her daughter be anything but heteronormative. 

 

Sighing heavily, Katie sat back up, removing her hands from her hair and beginning to weave it into a single french braid, tying it off with the older hair tie she had found. Her hair now out of the way, she pulled out her phone again and- no. She needed to save the battery. She had no idea how long she was going to be here and if this was her only way to see the people she loved, then she was going to use it sparingly. Her decision made, she stuffed her practically useless iPhone 6 back in her pocket. 

 

* * *

 

Thankfully, they made it far enough down the mountain by the end of the day to get out of the snow, so when they made camp it was on dry ground. It was still painfully cold, though, given that it was fucking _January_. Katie was freezing, she didn’t have a bedroll or a blanket or whatever, and she didn’t have Lily. (Lily was her teddy bear. Katie had had that thing since she was seven years old and she still, at the ripe old age of twenty-one, fell asleep easier when hugging that thing.) But really, she could do this. She had food in her stomach thanks to Sam, a blanket from Legolas who insisted that he didn’t need it as he didn’t get cold anyway and didn’t need much sleep in the first place, and a place by the fire. As Katie curled up to sleep, she rather resembled a blanket burrito, but she figured that things could be worse. 

 

* * *

 

She should know better than to think things like that. She was a grown-ass woman who should know better than to think things like that.

 

Katie should have realized when they made camp in the middle of a grove of trees that this was the very grove of trees where they would be attacked by wargs. 

 

But she was exhausted, cold, hungry, grumpy, and wasn’t paying that much attention to what was happening. She hadn’t been listening when Aragorn realized that there were wolves howling in the distance and she had just followed along when the ranger led them up the hill to a safer vantage point. She didn’t realize what was really going on until she was woken by that same howling, though it was much closer now, like the wargs were circling them. Katie could have kicked herself for her inattentiveness. _This_ was something that could have been avoided, _this_ was an obstacle that the Fellowship needn’t have dealt with and that she could have at least warned them about, but she had been too damn preoccupied with her own misery to even register what was happening. 

 

Now that she was awake and took a moment to look around her, Katie couldn’t believe that she hadn’t recognized the place before - _crowned with a knot of old and twisted trees, about which lay a broken circle of boulder-stones_. God _damn_ it, it was exactly as Tolkien had described it and the same went for the bone-chilling howls of the approaching wargs. When Katie sat up and shucked off her blanket, it was to see that the most of the rest of their party was awake - sitting around the fire, most of them facing outwards with weapons drawn - save for Merry and Pippin who were still attempting to sleep (though they _were_ tossing and turning something awful).

 

As Katie looked around her, she saw at the very least half a dozen pairs of gleaming canine eyes, the flickering firelight reflected there right alongside an undeniably sinister and animalistic bloodlust. Some of the wargs approached the circle, but there was one that came closer than all the others. In a gap in the boulders, one of the wolves stalked closer and let out a chilling and, frankly, fucking terrifying howl that had Katie shaking in her snow boots. Katie watched as Gandalf stood and went before the wolf, brandishing his staff. 

 

“Listen, hound of Sauron!” the wizard shouted at the wolf. Katie recognized the words he spoke, she knew he was threatening the wolf, and so she turned her attention to the other advancing animals. She knew what was coming, she knew that that one wolf would advance, but she still jumped about a mile when she heard a snarl from behind her. She whirled around to see the wolf Gandalf had been threatening springing forward, only to be shot down by an arrow to the neck from Legolas’s bow. The beast fell with a strangled yell and all of a sudden, the gleaming eyes around their camp disappeared. Aragorn and Gandalf went out to go after them, but they returned only with news that they had vanished. 

 

The night wore on in silence. The hobbits all tried to sleep again and once they had, Katie went to talk to Aragorn. She knew what was going to happen. She knew that the wolves would be back and the least she could do now after failing to warn them about all this in the first place was to make sure they were prepared for when the wolves returned. 

 

“They’re coming back,” Katie said softly as she took a seat beside the ranger. He nodded in response and when Katie looked over at him, she saw something resembling resignation on his face.

 

“I had suspected as much,” he said.

 

“You read this far, if I remember correctly,” Katie said, her lips turned up in a sad almost-smile. Aragorn huffed out something that resembled a chuckle. 

 

“Indeed, though you snatched the book out of my hands before I got very far,” he confirmed, and Katie smiled a bit at the memory, her mood a bit lighter for it. 

 

“They shouldn’t come back for a few more hours, not until the moon is setting,” she said, staring down at her hands where they were fisted in her lap. 

 

“Get some rest, Katie,” Aragorn urged her gently. “If you can.”

 

Katie nodded in response and rose to her feet and started for her pile of blankets that served as a bedroll but stopped when she felt Aragorn’s hand on her arm. 

 

“Thank you for the warning,” he said sincerely, and Katie gave him a nod and a tight-lipped smile in return before curling up within her blankets and making her best effort to get some more sleep. She managed to get a few hours in, what with her tossing and turning, but when she noticed the moon beginning to sink in the night sky, she couldn’t get another minute of sleep. The clouds were beginning to break, the waning moonlight shining through, and Katie’s eyes were darting back and forth around the outside of their camp, watching vigilantly for any sign of the wargs. 

 

Her watch (which she was pretty sure was about eight hours ahead of Middle Earth time, give or take) said that it was one in the afternoon when the howling started. It was like a thundering storm, wild and ferocious, from all around the outskirts of the camp and waking all of them. In the silence and the darkness, a host of wargs had gathered and were now poised to attack them all at once. The fellowship collectively jumped to their feet, drawing their weapons. 

 

“Fling fuel on the fire!” Gandalf cried to them all, though mostly to Katie and the hobbits, as they were the ones least capable of defending themselves. Even as they gathered wood and added it to the fire, Gandalf shouted at them again. “Draw your blades, and stand back to back!” he ordered them, and they did as they were told. Katie drew Aragorn’s knife and with the wolves still prowling and snarling, she felt like David facing Goliath — a boy against a giant. The knife trembled in her shaking hands.

 

With a mighty howl, one wolf sprang into the ring of stones and it was like a dam had been broken; with that one, the rest of them followed. Wargs leapt at them from all sides, though they met their ends in the more highly trained members of the fellowship. On one side, Katie spotted Aragorn stabbing one through the heart while on the other, Boromir beheaded one with a single swipe. Gimli’s axe sang as it hacked at their aggressors and Legolas’s arrows were flying left and right. She had been watching Boromir fight when one of the wargs leapt at her and the hobbits and she let out an embarrassingly shrill shriek, nearly dropping her knife in her fight. 

 

An arrow whizzed past her ear and struck the warg in the eye, the creature falling dead at Katie and Sam’s feet, making her scream yet again. On the other side of the fire, Gandalf seemed to grow in the firelight, his shadow rising to a menacing height as he warded off the wargs with a magical fire that flared with a sudden white light.

 

“ _Naur an edraith ammen! Naur dan i ngaurhoth!”_ Gandalf cried, and there was a roar and a crackle, the tree above him bursting into brilliant flame. The fire leapt from tree to tree until the whole hilltop was crowned with the blazing light, a light that flickered as it reflected in their blades. Katie watched in disbelief as one of Legolas’s arrows caught fire midair on its way to the heart of the largest warg, felling it with a _thud_. At the death of what must have been their leader, the others fled.

 

* * *

 

“They were wargs,” Gandalf informed them in the morning, once they had gotten a few more hours’ sleep in the time between the end of last night’s attack and and daybreak. 

 

“No shit,” Katie said sharply, still horribly freaked out by last night. Reading about a warg attack was one thing, but living it? Holy _fuck_. It would probably be seven million years before she was able to sleep soundly again. Well, realistically more like seven weeks, but close enough. Those hairy monsters were going to be haunting her sleep for a long time coming. So forgive her if her tone was a bit short. Gandalf paused for a moment to give Katie a reprimanding look before continuing. 

 

“We must eat quickly,” he said, “if we are to reach Moria by sundown.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, let me know with kudos or in a comment!


	4. Swiggity Swountain What's in the Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company finds their way into Moria and though Katie knows what to expect, the lake monster, crumbling caves, and hordes of orcs came as more of a surprise to the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy, I'm back with another chapter finally. 
> 
> I still don't own Lord of the Rings. All I have is my OC and a few ugly christmas sweaters.

Katie was _really_ out of shape. 

 

Before any of this shit had gone down, she thought she was doing alright. She walked to her classes every day, she went to the gym a few times a week — okay, once a week — well, more like she went to the Zumba class at the local YMCA on Tuesday nights and occasionally stayed after for yoga, but she thought that was keeping her in pretty decent physical condition. She was incorrect. There were few things she had ever been _this_ wrong about, most notably her understanding of how taxes work, her expectation for basic human decency from her freshman creative writing professor, and her first impression of Jamie and Cersei Lannister’s relationship in Game of Thrones. 

 

She was _so_ out of shape. It wasn’t even funny. Her hair was sticking to her forehead with sweat, her breath was getting heavy, and her legs were fucking _burning_. _Was hiking supposed to be this exhausting?_ Katie found herself mourning the loss of her marching band legs from high school. Back then, when she marched in the trombone section, she had _killer_ calves, but that muscle was long gone, along with any semblance of physical fitness she’d once had. _This is what I get for sitting at my desk with my laptop all day,_ she mused to herself. 

 

Although, all things considered, she was keeping up pretty well. She at least was able to keep up with Sam and Bill, which might have been a bit pathetic, but at least she wasn’t lagging a mile behind, she supposed. _That’s something, right? I’m not_ completely _useless,_ she told herself as she trailed behind the others as they followed Gandalf across Hollin, looking for any trace of the Sirannon, the river that was supposed to be their path to the western gate of Moria. 

 

Now, Katie knew that it would be a long time before they found the trickle of water that would lead them to the dammed up stream, but she had decided that she was going to be keeping her mouth shut about her knowledge of the story. She couldn’t risk changing the story — she’d never be able to live with herself if something she did led to Sauron’s victory or the death of one of her new friends. So she distracted herself by talking with the others, asking them questions about this world she had found herself in; she saw it as payback for their relentless questions after they turned up on _her_ doorstep.

 

She and Sam had been talking about foods, she’d had a little conversation with Merry and Pippin about weed, and now was discussing literacy rates and education with Legolas and Boromir. 

 

“How many people even know how to read? Are the literacy rates different between races?” she asked. “What about in different nations of men or elves?”

 

“Most, if not all, elves that I am acquainted with are literate,” Legolas replied, “in my father’s realm and otherwise.”

 

“I suppose that makes sense,” Katie replied, her breath a bit strained as she took Boromir’s proffered hand to help her up and over a ledge that was just a bit too tall for her to get over herself. “If you’re gonna live forever, you might as well learn to read. Back home, the literacy rate is pretty high, but that’s because everyone is required to get some sort of an education. We have both public and private schools for kids to go to, depending on financial situations or what the parents want for their kids, and some are home-schooled instead, but nearly everyone learns to read from an early age.”

 

“In Gondor, it is the wealthy that have the opportunity to learn,” Boromir explained. “I expect that Rohan is similar.” He might have continued, but they then heard a shout from Gimli up ahead. Exchanging quick glances, the company hurried to catch up to the dwarf and found him pointing out a trickle of water, rolling down the red stones.

 

“Here it is, at last!” Gandalf said, relieved. “This is where the stream ran. Sirannon, the gate-stream, was what they called it, though what has happened to it, I cannot say. Last I saw, it was swift and noisy. Come, we must hurry,” he said, and in spite of their exhaustion and their sore feet, the Fellowship trudged along behind Gandalf for many miles. Katie was starting to get a blister on her right heel, but at least the physical activity was keeping her warm. If she remembered correctly, they would be reaching the doors by sunset. 

 

Sure enough, the sun was very low in the sky when they came upon a flight of stairs cut into the mountainside, stairs that ended in a small valley where they discovered that the Sirannon had been dammed up, creating an eerily still, dark lake that stretched across the valley, leaving barely more than two yards of bank on either side. The sky was a strangely cold, golden color as the sun began to set and Gandalf led them to the wall where the hidden door to Moria lay. It took them awhile to et there, almost a mile, but finally they reached the holly trees that marked the door, tall and imposing — _like sentinel pillars_ — Katie recalled Tolkien’s description. 

 

Out on the lake, Katie’s ears caught something that sounded like a fish breaking the surface of the water. Katie whipped her head around at the noise and out of the corner of her eye, noted that Boromir had done the same. They both watched as ripples spread out across the lake, exchanging uneasy expressions — Boromir because he didn’t know what had caused the noise, Katie because she _did_. 

 

_Should I tell them about the Watcher?_ she asked herself. _That wouldn’t mess anything up, would it? If they know about the Watcher, then they could prevent any injuries from their fight with it and be prepared for it. That’s not so bad, right? But then again, if they know about the Watcher, then there would be nothing stopping us from turning back when we come across the dwarf corpses and then there’s no mines, no orcs, and no Balrog and we’ve already been through this, Katie._ Katie sighed to herself and, if her hair wasn’t pulled back in a french braid, would have run her fingers through the dirty and also filthy blonde locks. 

 

_I can’t tell them anything_. 

 

* * *

 

After sitting for half an hour while Gandalf puzzled over the door, Katie was beginning to reconsider her pact with herself about revealing parts of the storyline. This was taking forever.

 

There was only so much bickering from Legolas and Gimli that she could take. It had started with an argument over who had (or hadn’t, rather) ended the friendship between elves and dwarves, an argument that Katie had ended with a swift “put a sock in it” before things could get hostile, but they were still at each other’s throats. They got along far better when they had something else to do. Something like sleeping or killing orcs.

 

There had been a bit of a scene when Gandalf told Sam that they had to send Bill back to Rivendell and while he had been on the verge of tears, it had blown over fairly quickly. Sam said goodbye to the poor animal, Katie was pretty sure he cried once no one was looking, and the rest of them started going through their things, looking for stuff they could leave behind so they could divide up the pony’s burden.

 

They sat, they waited, Merry and Pippin disturbed the water by skipping stones, only to be stopped by Aragorn, and out of boredom, Katie badgered Boromir into teaching her how to sharpen a blade. When she tried to give him back the extra whetstone he had handed her to practice with, he insisted that she keep it.

 

Finaly, fucking _finally_ , Katie heard an exclamation of realization from Gandalf. 

 

“I have it!” the wizard cried. “Of course, of course, absurdly simple, like most riddles once you see the answer.” Getting to his feet again, Gandalf stood before the doors. 

 

“ _Mellon,”_ he said loud and clear, and the Ithildin in the doors began to glow brighter in the star only to fade again. Then, a line appeared down the center of the carvings and the doors began to swing outwards, stone scraping against stone. While Gandalf explained the riddle to the rest of the company, Katie packed up her things (that being her share of what Bill had been carrying), stuffing it all in her newly acquired pack and slinging it over her shoulders, mentally preparing herself for what was to come. 

 

“Let us go!” Katie tuned back in to hear Gandalf say and they had just barely set foot inside the realm of Moria when Frodo let out a cry behind them. _There it is._

 

Katie hung back while Sam and the others rescued Frodo from the Watcher in the water and once she set eyes on the creature, she was glad that she had done so, because she was nearly frozen in fear. 

 

She had never seen anything like this creature before and she never wanted to again - it was all tentacles and slime and the worst _stench_ she had ever experienced and if she had been outside of the doors, attempting to help Frodo, she wasn’t convinced that she would have made it inside before the Watcher crawled out of the lake, slamming its body weight against the doors, closing them and sending rock crashing down on the opposite side, leaving the Fellowship in darkness. 

 

* * *

 

Katie had never been fond of dark, enclosed spaces. Shadows like the ones that their torches cast upon the walls were the stuff of her nightmares. Rationally, she knew she had nothing to fear of darkness, least of all when she found herself dashing up the basement stairs after turning off the lights. 

 

_Yeah, but this isn’t the basement and there are far worse things here than spiders and imaginary monsters,_ a decidedly unhelpful voice in the back of Katie’s mind pointed out. 

 

And yes, she supposed that this particular brand of anxiety and fear she was feeling at the moment _was_ warranted. This wasn’t her basement. Her basement didn’t have goblins or dwarf skeletons or balrogs or paths leading up the sides of cliffs with no handrails. 

 

And that was the other thing that Katie was learning about herself — she was afraid of heights. Or at least, she was afraid of falling. 

 

“Your people couldn’t have bothered to add handrails?” Katie asked Gimli, trying her best to hide the tremors of fear in her voice as she followed in line behind the dwarf as the company followed the paths through the mountain, which at the moment were taking them around a _very_ deep mining shaft. 

 

“You afraid, lass?” Gimli returned with his own question, having perceived that the young woman was more frightened than she let on and attempting to keep her mind off said fear. 

 

“No,” Katie answered shortly, her pride getting the better of her. “I got this, handrails are for wimps,” she added under her breath as she determinedly looked anywhere but at the mine shaft to her right. She felt a hell of a lot better once they got away from the shaft, and once they did, they came upon a landing where they stopped to get some food in their stomachs. Gandalf passed a flask of miruvor around. Katie was the last one to get the flask and she was taken aback by the sweet smell of the elven cordial. She _knew_ what she was about to put in her body, but it was surreal - _like just about everything she’d experienced since these nerds showed up on her doorstep._

 

It was like hot chocolate on a cold day, when you feel that warmth moving down your esophagus and settling in your stomach, radiating from your center and comforting you from the inside out. But somehow, there was something more there - there was none of the drowsiness that comes from cocoa on a cold night - something invigorating. It wasn’t like a caffeine rush, that energy that you can just _feel_ won’t last, but more like waking up from the most restful sleep you’ve ever had.  It was like nothing Katie had experienced before.

 

They sat and rested for awhile, Gandalf talked through what lay ahead of them, saying that he expected it to take three or four days, but they were quick to get back on their feet again. Exhausted as they were, they could agree on the fact that they all wanted to get the hell out of this mountain. Gandalf led the ay again, with Gimli just behind him, followed by Frodo and Sam, Legolas, Merry and Pippin, Katie and Boromir, and Aragorn bringing up the rear. The path twisted and turned, descending for a long while before it leveled out again. Katie knew not to expect the coolness that typically comes with going further underground, but it was still a bit disconcerting to feel the hot and stifling air on her skin. 

 

The path itself was getting more and more treacherous as they went. There were holes and cracks in the path, more sharp drop-offs, but the scariest shit of all were the cracks that would open up right beneath their feet. 

 

They’d been traveling across a narrower bit of path when it began to crack after half the company had passed the spot. Katie had to shoot an arm out to catch Merry before he stumbled into it, and Boromir had to do the same for Pippin. They all managed to get across before it opened wider than three feet, but the worst was the seven-footer. At least, that was Katie’s guess. Nearly the entire company had made it across, even Merry and Pippin, but Katie was fucking terrified. 

 

“I can’t do it,” she insisted, shaking her head as she stared into the dark pit before their feet. “I- I can’t do it, I can’t,” she repeated herself, clutching Boromir’s arm for dear life. “I can’t do it, I won’t make it, I can’t do it,” she repeated under her breath over and over again, paralyzed with fear. Over her head and out of her line of sight (her eyes glued on the gaping hole before her), Boromir and Aragorn exchanged a look, silently agreeing on something and then conferring, still silently with Legolas across the chasm. 

 

“Katie, I sincerely apologize for doing this,” Boromir said quickly, and then before Katie knew it, he and Aragorn had grabbed her under her arms and were bodily throwing her across the gap. Katie let out a high-pitched scream that turned into a grunt as she collided with Legolas and Gimli and as soon as she had righted herself, she whipped around to glare at Boromir and Aragorn. She opened her mouth to snap at them, but then they were taking running starts and leaping across the gap themselves, stumbling into them before they got their balance. 

 

Katie pursed her lips and as soon as Boromir was standing upright again, punched him in the shoulder, not hard enough to actually hurt him (as if she was strong enough to do that anyway) but enough to convey her frustration. Turning to Aragorn, she did the same to him. 

 

“I would’ve worked up the courage eventually,” she grumbled. 

 

“Let’s move along,” Gandalf said from the head of the column, setting off again, the rest of them trailing behind, Katie, Boromir, and Aragorn still at the back. 

 

“I’m sure you would have,” Boromir replied quietly to Katie’s comment, laying a comforting hand between her shoulder blades. 

 

“Shut up,” Katie grumbled. 

 

* * *

 

As they moved further along in the mines, taking periodical breaks to rest and to eat, Katie felt an increasing sense of dread growing in the pit of her stomach. Every hour they spent in this goddamn mountain was an hour closer to finding Balin’s tomb, to getting attacked by goblins, to Gandalf falling alongside the balrog. It was killing her, not being able to tell them what was coming, not being able to warn them, to protect them. 

 

That dread remained an underlying, if growing, presence in her gut until they came across the guardroom - the guardroom with the well surrounded by broken and rusty chains that trailed down inside the pit - the guardroom with the well that Pippin dropped a stone down, the soft _plunk_ echoing and resonating over and over again in the hollow pit. Katie stood by as Gandalf berated the hobbit for his foolishness before he commanded that they all be silent. 

 

_Tom-tap, tap-tom._

 

It was just like Tolkien had written. Chills ran down her spine and she couldn’t stop herself from violently shivering. Out of the silence, it sounded again. 

 

_Tom-tap, tap-tom_. 

 

The company was silent until the echoing knocks died away. 

 

“That was a hammer, or I’ve never heard one,” Gimli said, identifying the noise.

 

“Yes,” Gandalf agreed, “and I do not like it. It may not be because of Peregrin’s stone, but he has more likely disturbed something that would have been better left quiet,” he said, just like Katie remembered reading. “Do nothing of the kind again!” he ordered them. “Let us hope we shall get some rest without more trouble. _You_ , Pippin, can take the first watch as a reward,” he said grumpily before turning to his bedroll to rest. The rest of the company followed suit in tense silence, most of them getting some uneasy sleep for what it was worth. 

 

Gandalf said they had slept for six hours once he woke them up and began leading the way again, the company following his direction and the light of his staff. They were moving back upwards again, climbing up stairs and ramps, getting closer and closer to ground level. Things were moving faster now, their road easier to navigate than it had been at the beginning of their journey. They ate in wider patches of road and slept in cavernous halls, and Gimli sang of the splendor of Dwarrowdelf, in spite of Gandalf’s protests that they needed to keep as silent as possible. 

 

And then they came upon a large square chamber, dimly lit by a single shaft on the eastern wall, but to their eyes, adjusted to the darkness, it was blindingly bright. There must have been about half an inch of dust on the floor and their feet left prints as they crossed the room. If they looked at just the right angle, they could see blue sky through that shaft. The light fell on a single block of stone at the center of the chamber, a slab of white stone laid on top of it. Engraved in the white stone was something in Khuzdul. 

 

“Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria,” Gandalf translated for them. Katie watched with a detached sense of grief as Gimli bowed his head in sorrow. 

 

The company stood in silence beside the tomb. Katie couldn’t think what to say, if anything. There _wasn’t_ anything to say. After awhile, they began to look around, searching for any sign or clue to tell them what had happened there. As the company surveyed the room, they found bones, broken weapons, and cloven armor of both dwarves and orcs. In her peripherals, Katie registered Gandalf bending down to pick something up and when she turned to get a better look, it was to see a massive, old, cracked, and blood stained book in his hands. 

 

Katie didn’t even have to listen in on him reading the book to know what was being said. She remembered the story of what happened to the dwarves of Moria. She remembered how they first drove the orcs out of the mountain and set up the very chamber they stood in, how they continued to keep records until Gandalf came across Ori’s handwriting. 

 

“ _The Watcher in the Water took Óin,_ ” Gandalf read aloud. “ _We cannot get out. The end comes. Drums, drums in the deep.”_

 

Katie knew the last line by heart and found herself whispering it under her breath as Gandalf read it.

 

“ _They are coming._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought in a comment!
> 
> Natalie out.


	5. Too Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entering into Moria, Katie knew what was coming, but doesn't make it any easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howdy it has been a long time since I have updated this thing. But hey, now that I've graduated college, I should have more time to write (at least for the summer before grad school starts). I really hope so, I have some stuff planned that I'm really looking forward to. 
> 
> I still don't own Lord of the Rings and am still making zero money off of this. All I have to my name is my OC and my mountain of student debt. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“They are coming,” Gimli echoed both Katie and Gandalf. 

 

The reality of this was finally hitting Katie. The dread that had been gathering in the pit of her stomach the entire time they’d been in these fucking caves was only getting worse - if the _wolves_ had been terrifying, she couldn’t imagine how bad this was going to be. She knew what was coming: orcs, trolls, Uruk-Hai, a balrog, and the loss of a friend. Unconsciously, she took a step back from the others, then another, and another, until she felt her back hit the wall. Katie could feel her heartbeat accelerating and her breath getting short. Her chest was tightening, she couldn’t fill her lungs- 

 

There was an icy cold taking hold of her chest and reaching outwards into her very being, seeping into her veins and leeching onto the warmth of her blood, replacing it with that same cold. She felt frozen in place. She couldn’t get her eyes to focus, she was feeling dizzy- she leaned heavily on the wall, just so she wouldn’t have to support her own weight anymore. _Fuck, now is_ ** _not_** _the time for an anxiety attack, Katie_ , she scolded herself, which, of course, did not help at all. _Okay, breathe,_ she told herself. Screwing her eyes shut, Katie tried to regulate her breathing - _in two three four five six seven eight, out two three four five six, in two three four five six seven eight, out two three four five six-_

 

In the background, she dimly registered Gandalf speculating about what had happened to the dwarves, guessing that they’d made their stands at both gates even with their dwindling numbers. 

 

“Valiant but foolish,” she caught someone remark. 

 

_Valiant but foolish is right,_ Katie thought to herself. _They’re coming. The orcs and Uruk-Hai and the troll are coming and I don’t know anything about how to defend myself against them. I’m fucked._

 

_No,_ Katie tried to stop herself before her anxiety could get the better of her. _Self defense training’s not nothing. I’ve got a weapon, I’ve got friends who will defend me-_

 

_Friends who haven’t known me for very long and who might not even notice if I’m in mortal danger._

 

_No. That’s not true. I know that’s not true._

 

_But-_

 

“Katie?” Boromir’s voice brought her out of her own head and redirected her attention to the matter at hand. Her head snapped up to look at him, her eyes wide and frightened like a cornered animal. 

 

“What- what is it?” she managed to get out, straightening up and trying to make it look like she hadn’t just been having a breakdown against the chamber wall.

 

“We need to go,” he said gently, offering her a hand to help her back onto her feet. Katie took it and the physical contact helped to ground her. She felt her breathing start to even out and some of the chill in her veins dissipate. She nodded at Boromir’s words and fell into line with the others as they started for the door but then they heard a rolling _boom_ that seemed to come from deep within the mountain.

 

“Drums in the deep,” Katie uttered into the silence, her whisper as loud as a roar. Her heart was beating fast again - she could hear her blood pumping in her ears.

 

There was a moment of silence as Katie braced herself for what she knew came next-

 

The horn. Out in the hall, there sounded an echoing blast of a horn being blown, followed by answering horns and harsh cries from further distances. The chill in her veins was back with a vengeance and her hands started shaking furiously. She clenched her fists to stop the shaking, her blunt, bitten nails digging into her palms.

 

Then came the scurrying feet.

 

“They are coming,” Legolas said, giving voice to all their thoughts.

 

“We cannot get out,” Gimli quoted his kinsman’s words.

 

“We are trapped,” Gandalf gravely declared. “Here we are, caught, just as they were before.”

 

He might have said more, but then the drums sounded again, louder and closer this time. 

 

Aragorn ordered the company to barricade the doors but be ready to run and Katie was ready to obey, anything to release her pent-up anxious energy, but Gandalf belayed that order, arguing that they needed to make sure they had a way out. He ordered they leave the east door ajar, so they turned their attentions to the western one while Aragorn stood guard at their exit.

 

Boromir started to close the western door, Katie pushing herself to go help him, forgetting that Gandalf would stop them before closing it all the way. The smell of them had Katie’s stomach turning. Waving the man and woman aside, the istar advanced on the doors. 

 

“Who comes to disturb the rest of Balin, Lord of Moria?” he called into the hall. The only response was sinister laugher and the beating of drums, echoing off the stone. Rearing back, Gandalf thrust his staff forward and a bolt of light shot from his staff, illuminating the chamber and the hall outside. Gandalf ducked his head through the opening in the doors and quickly sprung back, arrows whistling past his head and into the chamber, narrowly missing Legolas and Sam. 

 

“There are orcs, and many of them,” Gandalf reported. “And some are large and evil, the Uruks of Mordor. For now, they are hanging back, but there is a cave troll with them, I think, or more than one. We cannot escape that way.”

 

“And there is no hope if they come for the other door as well,” Boromir added. 

 

“There is no sound outside here yet,” Aragorn said from where he was still listening at the eastern door. 

 

“That passage doesn’t lead back to the hall, it’s a safe exit,” Katie butted in as Aragorn was about to inspect it himself. When he looked at her in question, she waved away his confusion. “Books, remember?” she said, making a conscious effort to hide the tremors in her voice. “If we run now, there’s nothing to stop them from just following us,” she said, circumventing the extra words Aragorn would have used to say the same thing. He nodded in agreement with her. 

 

“We must do something to delay the enemy first,” he said, and Katie nodded back. “Make them fear the Chamber of Mazarbul.”

 

Katie wasn’t sure anymore if it was anxiety or fear that had her heart pounding out of her chest, but she knew that she could help barricade the door. As soon as Boromir muscled the door closed, she was by his side, hurriedly using broken weapons to bar it shut and wedge against it. With the door sufficiently barricaded, the fellowship and Katie ran for the eastern door, though they didn’t get far before they heard a great thudding _boom_ from the barricade. They all whipped around to face west — Boromir pushed Katie behind him — and watched as something pushed the door open and the barricades back. Katie watched — trying her best not to keel over and vomit from the smell or pass out from the fear — as an arm and a foot squeezed their way between the doors. Boromir and Frodo charged at it and their combined efforts, while the others hung back (some by choice, some by the inability to unstick their feet). 

 

Katie was frozen in place, watching as Boromir charged forward, leaping into battle. Around her, the others joined in the efforts and it wasn’t until she was being pushed that she realized Aragorn as trying to get her to move back, to more away from the danger with Sam, Merry, and Pippin. That brought her back to reality and she had to wonder if this was what it felt to have adrenaline take over. She moved almost mechanically, drawing the knife Aragorn had given her and holding it in both hands before her, on guard and hoping she’d be ready to strike if anything came too close. Until that happened, though, she watched her companions with frantic eyes. 

 

On one side of the chamber, Legolas was firing arrows into the mass of orcs and goblins, flanked by Aragorn who cut down any who came close to the elven archer and pushing the m back towards the doors. On the other side, Boromir and Frodo fought side by side, Boromir doing most of the work and Sting glowing a cold blue. Gimli stood as a defender of his cousin’s tomb and Gandalf had planted himself before Katie and the rest of the hobbits, protecting them from harm. After awhile, after they’d killed a good dozen of them or so, the orcs and goblins turned to flee. While the others began to breathe sighs of relief, Katie still stood tense, knowing what was to come. _Could I- no._ ** _No_** _, Katie, they’ll find out about the second wave soon enough._

 

And sure enough, just as the others were beginning to turn towards Katie and the hobbits to run, there came the second wave, led by a massive orc, bigger than any they’d seen inside the mountain yet. They stormed through the door and knocked Boromir aside, the man hitting his head hard on the stone floor. _You knew that was going to happen, he’s going to be okay, Aragorn will be okay, Frodo will be okay, it’s going to be okay_ , Katie told herself. But when the orc pushed Aragorn aside, she couldn’t watch anymore. She averted her eyes from the scene, staring intently at a spot of black blood on the stone below her feet. Withe her hand on the wall behind her, she listened to the singing blades and squelching thuds of bodies and braced herself for-

 

Frodo’s cry of pain as what she knew was a spear hit him square in the torso. She winced at the noise and tore her eyes from the floor to watch Frodo slump against the wall and fall to the ground, clutching his side in pain. While Aragorn let out an angry cry and rushed at the orc that had done the deed, Katie somehow found it in herself to make her way towards Frodo right behind Sam, ignoring Gandalf’s protests and crouching beside him.While Sam broke the shaft of the spear, Katie started gathering Frodo up into her arms. Drums beat in the distance while Aragorn and Boromir felled the orc and chased the rest of them out of the chamber. 

 

“Now!” Gandalf shouted at them all then. “Now is our last chance, run!” With that, Aragorn took Frodo from Katie’s arms, pushing her and the rest of the hobbits in front of him as they ran. Katie knew that behind them, the others followed, though she could hear Gimli shouting as Legolas dragged him away from Balin’s tomb. As Boromir was wrenching the door open, Frodo stirred in Aragorn’s arms. 

 

“I’m alright,” he gasped, his breath strained from his injury, “I can walk, put me down.” The others jumped in surprise at Frodo’s words. Aragorn was so startled he nearly dropped him exclaiming how he has presumed the hobbit dead. 

 

“Yes, Frodo’s alive, we don’t have time for this!” Katie interrupted the growing din, her voice desperate. 

 

“Off you go, all of you, down the stairs!” Gandalf ordered them. “Wait a few minutes for me at the bottom, but no longer. If I do not come soon, go on!” he urged. “Go quickly and choose paths leading right and downwards,” he ordered them. Katie was already pulling Boromir along with her through the door while Aragorn protested behind them. 

 

“We cannot leave you to hold the door alone!” he said.

 

“Do as I say,” Gandalf argued. “Go! Swords are no more use here.”

 

With that, the rest of them followed Katie and Boromir down the passage, the party feeling their way through the darkness as quickly as they could. 

 

As they went, they heard Gandalf’s voice drifting down to them, as if he was talking to himself. About half a minute later, they heard the drums sound again, followed by a trembling in the walls. There was then a burst of light from the door behind followed by Gandalf flying down the stairs to join them. They ran as fast as they could, still with no light, as whatever Gandalf had done up there appeared to have exhausted his powers. They followed the wizard now and after about an hour at their hurried pace, there was still no sign of pursuers. Just like she remembered reading, like _clockwork_ , Katie felt the air begin to warm as they made it down their seventh flight of stairs, where Gandalf finally stopped. 

 

“We ought to be down to the level of the gates now,” he said. “Soon we should look for a turn to take us east, I hope it is not far. For now, I am weary. I must rest a moment, no matter who may be after us.” They sat down, gathering while Gandalf explained what had happened at the door, how he faced something he’d never met before and placed a powerful shutting spell on the door. 

 

Maybe it was autopilot, maybe it was dissociation, but Katie could honestly look back at their trip through the mines of Moria with little to no memory of what happened after they started running. She knew that there was some discussion of Frodo’s miraculous survival but no mention of his mithril shirt. She knew they kept going and if it went as she remembered reading it, Gimli spotted a fiery red light up ahead, the party approaching it until they could all clearly see it. 

 

But she remembered the Balrog. 

 

Katie thought she had been scared of the wolves. Katie thought she had been frightened by the orcs and goblins. That was fucking _nothing_ compared to how terrified she was of the creature she knew would be Gandalf’s downfall. She remembered hysterically thinking to herself that if she were in a game of dungeons and dragons, she would have just rolled a critical failure against fear. She remembered Legolas and Gimli naming the creature, fear in their voices as they stared it down, while Gandalf leaned against his staff, lamenting his weariness. She remembered the Balrog charging and Boromir blowing his horn - right by her ear and loud enough to temporarily deafen her - and the advancing menace pausing in its tracks for a moment, only for it to start forward again, and faster. 

 

“Over the bridge, fly!” Gandalf commanded them. “This foe is beyond any of you.” Katie didn’t need telling twice that this was dangerous and somehow made it across the terrifyingly narrow bridge, but her hesitation to leave Gandalf behind still had her pausing with the company at the door leading out of the chamber while Aragorn and Boromir refused to leave Gandalf’s side at the end of the bridge. She couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t warn them, she couldn’t help them, she couldn’t do _shit_ , and that realization got the first few tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. 

 

Watching Gandalf stride back forward onto the bridge, Glamdring in one hand and staff in the other, Katie let out a choked sob as her tears began to fall in earnest. This was it. He was coming back, she knew that, but reading it was one thing. Living with this grumpy old man and getting to know him and knowing she was about to watch him fall to his death was another thing entirely. 

 

“You cannot pass!” Gandalf shouted at the Balrog from the center of the narrow bridge. Katie bit her lip to keep herself from crying out again and tasted blood. 

 

“I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor,” the wizard continued, unaware that Katie was whispering his words in unison under her breath as she clenched her fists, her bitten nails digging into her palms. “The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn!” he continued, as did Katie’s tears. Beside her, Legolas placed a hand on her shoulder and she briefly glanced up at him to see a concerned look on his face. She wordlessly shook her head and reached up to give his hand a squeeze before pushing it off of her shoulder and opting to hug herself around the middle. 

 

“Go back to the shadow,” Gandalf wend on below. “You cannot pass.” The Balrog gave no answer, but the darkness of its form seemed to turn even darker and its fire brighter as it stepped forward onto the bridge, drawing up to its full height and unfurling a pair of wings in the process. 

 

Looking at this creature was like staring into a void, like a silhouette painted in vantablack and surrounded with brilliant, sinister flame. It radiated heat and was more terrifying than anything Peter Jackson ever came up with, in Katie’s humble opinion. But before she could get sidetracked thinking about the books versus the movies, the Balrog drew its fiery blade and swung it down upon Gandalf. Katie couldn’t stop the cry that escaped her lips as Glamdring blocked the blow, sending fire and sparks and molten stone flying from the point of impact. The Balrog took a step back while Gandalf swayed on the spot a moment before steadying himself. 

 

“You cannot pass!” he repeated himself, only for the Balrog to leap towards him onto the bridge, brandishing its glowing red whip. Katie didn’t catch Aragorn and Boromir’s conversation at the end of the bridge, but it was impossible not to hear their battle cries as they made to join their leader on the bridge. 

 

“No!” Katie managed to croak out, reaching out towards Boromir, and her words gave them pause, which was all she wanted. For the next moment, Gandalf had broken the bridge before him, sending the Balrog falling into the abyss. Gandalf turned to rejoin him, sending the Balrog falling into the abyss. Gandalf turned to rejoin them, slow and weary, and Katie’s resolve failed her as she began crying in earnest, her hands over her mouth in an attempt to muffle the noise. The wizard had barely taken a step when the Balrog’s whip curled around his ankle, tugging him off the bridge. Aragorn started running onto the bridge to save him, but he was only halfway there when Gandalf the Grey gave his last command before letting go and falling into the abyss below. 

 

_Fly, you fools._

 

And so they flew. With Aragorn in the lead and Boromir in the rear, they ran like hell. 

 

_Fly, you fools._

 

They ran up the stairs at the back of the chamber and into a wide hall. Their footsteps echoed around them and Katie knew she was no longer the only one with tears on their face. 

 

_Doom, doom, doom._

 

The drums sounded again, an odd mockery of their pounding feet and a dire reminder of why they must move so quickly. As they ran, there were more and more air shafts above, and they passed through patches of sunlight as they went. 

 

_Fly, you fools._

 

They ran faster at the prospect of sunlight and reached a hall with high windows that welcomed in the light of day. 

 

_Fly, you fools._

 

They dashed for the doors and were met with gates. With a heave from nearly all of them in their desperation to make it out alive, they opened into blinding sunlight. There was a party of orcish guards just outside the gate but Aragorn slew their leader with a single blow and the rest fled back into the mountains. 

 

_Fly, you fools._

 

They kept going. They ran down the steps to the threshold of Moria and for the first time in days, felt the sun upon their skin and the wind on their faces. They kept running. They ran until they were out of range of any archers that may have been stationed outside the mountain, but didn’t stop until they reached Dimrill Dale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought in a comment!
> 
> Natalie out.


	6. To Be Determined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With no time to process their loss as they run to Lothlorien, Katie begins to rethink her resolution about changing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Sup, I'm back with another chapter! The next one should be done soon, I almost lumped the next section I have written in with this chapter, but that would have been a little much for a single chapter. 
> 
> I still don't own anything but Katie. If I did, I wouldn't have a single student loan.
> 
> Enjoy!

As their adrenaline faded, the Fellowship of the Ring was overcome by their grief. Some went off on their own, some fell to their knees, some wept, and some were silent. Above their heads, a cheerful blue sky and fluffy white clouds mocked them in the face of their grief. Katie cursed at the sight as she collapsed onto a stone away from the others, looking out at the mountains around them. She sat alone, silently crying as she stared at the world below. After awhile, she heard footsteps coming from behind and glanced over her shoulder to see Boromir approaching her and sitting beside her. They sat in silence, united in their sorrow and after a few moments, Katie felt her strength leave her and she moved to rest her head on the man’s armored shoulder. It wasn’t very comfortable, but it was better than holding herself up with her swiftly fading strength.

 

“You must have known,” Boromir finally spoke up. 

 

_Yes_. 

 

Katie couldn’t force the words through her lips and only heaved another sob, nodding her head in despair. Boromir remained silent, only curling an arm around her shoulders and holding Katie to his side until she found the strength to speak. 

 

“Moria was the only way to cross the Misty Mountains,” she croaked out, her voice hardly more than a whisper and her eyes fixed on a pebble about an inch in front of her left foot. “I couldn’t tell you what was going to happen and I can’t tell you what will. I know your fates and I can’t tell you a _fucking thing_ because I’m afraid if I do, it will change the fate of this world, and I can’t tell you that either.”

 

“I trust that if you could have done something to save him, you would have,” Boromir said after awhile, giving her shoulders a comforting squeeze and moving to rest his head atop her own. 

 

“I just wish I could have done something,” Katie lamented, angrily wiping at her eyes. “I wish I had thought of a way to fix this, I wish- I don’t know.”

 

_I can’t do this again,_ she told herself as she sat there, curled up in Boromir’s arms. _There has to be a way to save him. There has to._

 

_He trusts me to make the best decisions I can with the information I have. He trusts that if I can make things better, I will._

 

_There has to be a way to save him._

 

_There has to._

 

They remained there, doing their best to console each other, until they heard Aragorn stirring the company to their feet, urging them to hurry, for they did not know how much time they had before this place was flooded with orcs. Katie blindly followed Aragorn’s lead down the mountain and out through the dale, along the Kilverlode across the plains for a few hours until they paused to rest for Frodo and Sam. While Aragorn tended their wounds and Gimli, Merry, and Pippin started a fire, Katie stood watch with Legolas and Boromir, her mind racing with possible ways to save the latter’s life without condemning the fate of the world. 

 

_If he lives, then what happens?_ she asked herself. 

 

_An innocent and good lie is spared. He gets the chance to redeem himself in his own eyes and in Frodo’s. Faramir has a brother. Éowyn gets a brother-in-law. Their kids get an awesome uncle. He’s there to help at Helm’s Deep and at the Black Gate. He can pull some diplomatic shit whens asking to Éomer and Théoden. Denethor doesn’t completely fucking snap._

 

_But what was set in motion by his death? Is Denethor snapping necessary? Were his actions with the palantir motivated by his grief? Would he commit suicide without that grief? If he lived, would he step down from the throne of the steward? Would he pass power over to Aragorn? Probably not. Alright, that brings us back to if Denethor would die if he thought Boromir was alive. Maybe not? He might not be so crazy as to think the injured Faramir was dead if Boromir lived._

 

_But he also might not try to kill Faramir. Indirectly._

 

_He never saw his body,_ Katie mused. _Only the broken horn and shield. That was enough. Maybe if we send the shield and horn down the river without the body it’ll be enough to convince him._

 

Once the company was done marveling over Frodo’s mithril shirt, they put out their fire, hid any traces they had left, and returned to the road. They hadn’t gone too far before the sun began to set, but even then, Aragorn led them on for another few hours until the darkness had fallen. The road was silent, save for their own footsteps, though Katie knew there were elves following their progress out of sight. At long last, they spotted a wide grey shadow before them, accompanied by the sound of rustling leaves. They had nearly reached Lothlórien. 

 

“It is long since any of my people have journeyed here,” Legolas said from where he walked beside Aragorn at the front. “We hear that Lórien is not yet deserted, there is a secret power here that protects the land from evil. Still, its people are seldom seen, and they may now dwell deep in the woods, far from its borders.”

 

“Yes, they dwell deep in the wood,” Aragorn confirmed, sighing with what Katie guessed was the memory of him meeting Arwen. “We must find our own way tonight. We will go forward until we are safe within the wood and then we will seek a place to rest,” he told them. 

 

“Is there no other way?” Boromir asked from beside Katie, just behind Legolas and Aragorn. The ranger turned back to face them. 

 

“What other way is there?” he asked. 

 

“An open road, a plain road,” Boromir said. “We have been down strange paths and so far only evil has come of it. It was against my will that we passed through Moria, to our loss. And now you say we must enter the Golden Wood? In Gondor, we have heard of this perilous land and it is said that few who go in come out and of them, fewer escape unscathed.”

 

“If you say _unchanged_ instead of _unscathed_ , then you might speak the truth,” Aragorn said, a bit affronted by Boromir’s words. “Believe what you will, but it is our only way, unless you would go back to Moria, or scale the mountains, or swim the Great River.”

 

“Boromir,” Katie spoke up finally, reaching a hand out to lay it on his arm. “Trust me when I say that this is the best choice we can make. We’ll be safe here.” Boromir clenched his jaw, but nodded. 

 

“Then lead on,” he acquiesced, and followed Aragorn as he lead on, though he hung back after just a moment, falling to the back of the party. Katie waited just long enough to hopefully make it seem nonchalant when she did the same, slowing her pace until she was in step with him once more. 

 

“Lothlórien is safe,” Katie said lowly in an attempt to reassure him.

 

“Not from the tales I have heard,” Boromir replied at that same volume. 

 

“It’s gonna be weird and there are parts I’m not looking forward to that much, but it’s safe,” she tried to assure him. She was about to go on when their conversation was interrupted by Legolas’s voice up ahead announcing their arrival at the river Nimrodel.

 

Legolas led the way across and the party followed, wading through the cold waters. They stopped to rest for a moment on the other side, Katie contentedly listening to Legolas as he sung about Amroth and Nimrodel, but they pressed on. They crossed into a grove of Mallorn trees in search of, as Aragorn put it, a place to take shelter in the treetops, in the fashion of the Galadhrim, cautioning that it would be unwise for them to make camp on the ground when surely they were being followed by orcish pursuers. 

 

So they stepped off of the path and continued on, delving westward into the deeper woods and the shadow they cast. It wasn’t long before they found a cluster of trees that Legolas deemed suitable for their needs — massive trees whose height was anyone’s guess. 

 

“I am at home among trees,” Legolas said as he approached one of the trees and began to walk around the base of it. “I will climb up and see what I can find,” he said. 

 

“They must be marvelous trees if they can offer any rest at night, except to birds,” Pippin remarked, a certain amount of doubt in his voice. “I can’t sleep on a perch!”

 

“Then perhaps you should dig a hole in the ground,” Legolas fired back, looking back at the rest of them and directly at Pippin. Katie could barely spot it in the darkness, but she thought she could see a flash of a teasing grin on the elf’s face. With that, he sprung up from the ground to grab hold of a low hanging branch. Katie knew what was to happen next and she braced herself for it, but was still surprised when out of the silence came a harsh command in elvish. 

 

“ _Daro!”_ it said, and immediately Legolas dropped from the tree in surprise and fear. 

 

“Stand still,” he whispered to the company. “Do not move or speak.” Katie rolled her eyes and instead craned her neck up at the trees above them, searching for any sign of their elvish pursuers who were now laughing at them. Lovely. A voice then sounded, clear and a bit condescending in tone as it spoke to them in elvish. 

 

“What do they say? Who are they?” Merry asked. 

 

“Yes, yes, we know we’re loud,” Katie cut off any more questions with her exasperated and unamused tone as she addressed the Galadhrim above them. “Now, would you care to speak in the common tongue so we can all understand you when you talk about us? It’s only polite.” Legolas shot her a look that quite plainly said _shut the fuck up_ before addressing the elves in Sindarin. 

 

“They did say we were loud, that much is accurate. In fact, they said we breathe so loud they could have shot us in the dark,” Legolas reported after a short conversation that few of them could follow. “They have been following our progress for quite some time now, and say we have nothing to fear from them. They wish me to climb up to speak with them and bring Frodo. They have heard some tidings of him and our journey. They ask the rest of you wait here and stand watch until they decide what to do, and one did offer an apology for not speaking in the common tongue and explained that it is for the security and safety of these lands,” he finished, leaving Katie pleasantly surprised. 

 

“I’m sure they can hear me from up there,” she said to Legolas, though she did send a look up into the treetops, “but please do thank whoever apologized for me,” she said, before clapping the elf on the shoulder and planting her ass at the base of the tree and taking advantage of what little time she had to sit before she would be made to climb up into a tree for the night. Legolas quickly scaled the rope ladder they dropped, followed by Frodo and Sam, and it wasn’t long before Legolas was back with them, sending Merry and Pippin up to join Frodo and Sam and leading the rest of them to the next tree over. 

 

Aragorn went first, followed by Gimli and then Boromir. Katie was to be next, but she paused, turning to Legolas. 

 

“I would recommend telling Gimli about the whole blindfold plan, something tells me he won’t be a fan,” she said before starting to climb, leaving the elf a bit dumbstruck. Upon reaching the top, she was met with a sight she had imagined countless times but never could have done justice. The talan was just as Tolkien had written: open, flat, and without any railing of any kind. There was an unfamiliar elf up there and an array of furs and blankets. As Katie crested the top of the ladder, Boromir offered her a hand to help her to her feet and she took it gratefully, gripping it tightly as she steadied herself. 

 

“Sup,” she grunted out, looking over the others, her eyes settling on the unfamiliar elf.

 

“The Lady Galadriel spoke of a stranger traveling among you,” he said, his eyes trained on her. Katie, having released Boromir’s hand, gave the elf a little wave. 

 

“Katie Zimmer, nice to meet you. And you are?”

 

“Haldir,” he introduced himself. “ _Mae govannen,_ well met,” he said, laying a hand on his chest and inclining his head towards her. The rest of the party made their introductions and before long, they had arranged the furs and blankets on the _talan_ and settled down for the night.

 

* * *

 

The night passed without apparent incident (though Katie did know of the orc party that passed under them in the night, even if Haldir didn’t tell them about it) and in the morning, Haldir led them through the forest to the bank of a river. They crossed the river Celebrant with some difficulty on a tightrope of a bridge and once they were all across, the bridge was dismantled and Haldir and a second elf who had joined them addressed the company.

 

“Now, friends, you have entered the Naith of Lórien, the land between the Silverlode and Anduin the Great,” Haldir addressed them. “We allow no strangers to share the secrets of the Naith and few are permitted to even set foot here. As we agreed,” he said, turning to Legolas, and seeing the confusion of the others, Katie pursed her lips at the elf. “Here I shall blindfold the eyes of Gimli the Dwarf. The others may walk freely awhile, until we come closer to our dwellings.”

 

“What?” Gimli protested indignantly. “This agreement was made without my consent. I will not walk blindfolded like a prisoner. I am no spy, my folk have never dealt with the Enemy nor have we done harm to the elves! I am no more likely to betray you than Legolas!” he argued, and Katie shifted her weight a bit so she was visible behind the dwarf in a show of support, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling at Haldir in disapproval. 

 

“I do not doubt you,” Haldir tried to placate him, “but this is our law. I cannot act outside of it and have already pushed its boundaries by letting you cross Celebrant.” Gimli stood his ground, planting his feet firmly and laying a hand on his axe. 

 

“I will go forward free,” he demanded. “Or I will go back to my own lands where I am trusted.”

 

“You cannot go back,” Haldir said. “You have come this far and therefore must be brought before the Lord and Lady. If you try to turn back, our sentinels will see you slain before you know their presence.”

 

Gimli drew his axe from his belt, an angry scowl on his face. Haldir and his companion drew their bows. 

 

“This is some racist bullshit,” Katie spoke up. “If you wanna blindfold him, you’re gonna have to blindfold me, too,” she said angrily. 

 

“We will all be blindfolded,” Aragorn agreed. “If I am still to lead this company, you must do as I say. We will all be without sight, even Legolas,” he said, leveling the elf with a stern look. At that, Gimli let out a bark of laughter. 

 

“We shall look like fools! Will Haldir lead us on a string? Like blind beggars with one dog?” he asked. “But I will do this, only if Legolas shares my blindness,” he agreed, drawing everyone’s eyes to the elf. 

 

“I am a kinsman here!” he protested.

 

“Our company shall all fare alike,” Aragorn overruled him. “Come, bind our eyes, Haldir.”

 

And so he produced from his bag a handful of scarves, passing some to the other elf (Orophin, he had been introduced) beside him, and they began binding the eyes of the Fellowship. Before they reached Gimli and Katie, the dwarf elbowed her in the side, drawing her attention. 

 

“Thank you, lass,” he said, giving her a half-smile. Katie shrugged, but returned the smile. 

 

“Like I said, it’s racist bullshit. It’s not fair of them to make you do this because of your race,” she said simply, shooting a somewhat dark look at Haldir and Orophin where they were blindfolding Merry and Pippin. 

 

“Still, not all think as you do, Kate,” he said, taking Katie aback by the shortened version of her name. 

 

“Careful, Gimli, or I might start to think we’re friends or something,” she said good-naturedly, making the dwarf chuckle with laughter. 

 

“I’ll watch my words then, lass,” he said, still laughing a bit, even as Haldir and Orophin bound their eyes and the world went dark. 

 

They walked slowly through the wood, led by Haldir while Orophin walked behind them. The ground was smooth and soft beneath their feet and after awhile, they walked more easily, unafraid of falling or hurting themselves. They marched all day until they felt the cool of the evening beginning to fall upon the land and heard the winds of early night whispering among the leaves. They rested on the ground, as they weren’t allowed to remove their blindfolds even to sleep, and had to trust their guides to protect them as they slept. They continued on in the morning, traveling without haste, and about halfway through the day they stopped. From the warmth Katie felt on the top of her head, she guessed that they were out in the sun. 

 

Out of nowhere, they heard the sound of voices all around them. They were elven voices and one in particular fell into conversation with Haldir, bringing news that Haldir reported back to them. This was the group that had gone to guard against any attack from Moria. Any orcs they crossed were destroyed, though they did see a strange creature that Katie knew to be Gollum. 

 

“Also,” Haldir said, “they bring word from the Lord and Lady of the Galadhrim. You are all to walk free, even the dwarf, Gimli. It seems the Lady knows who and what you all are. Perhaps new messages have come from Rivendell,” he said, and Katie guessed that he was moving to remove Gimli’s blindfold first. “Your pardon,” he said, “look on us with friendly eyes. Look and be glad, for you are the first dwarf to behold the Naith of Lórien since Durin’s Day.” 

 

When Katie’s felt someone beginning to untie her blindfold, she screwed her eyes shut, not eager for the sunlight to effectively blind her again. Once she felt the sunlight against her eyelids, she slowly opened them, blinking as her eyes re-adjusted to the light of day. Once they had, she looked around and was taken aback by the sight before her. They stood in an open space, looking out on the forest, and beside them rose a hill crowned with trees and flowers of white and gold. They rested there a short while before they carried on, traveling on into dusk and then into night, the elves beside them lighting silver lamps as darkness fell. 

 

At last, they came out into the open again under an early evening sky dotted with a few early stars. There was a clearing before them, wide and circular, and bending away to either side. At the far side of the clearing, there was a hill surrounded by a high green wall and crowned with mallorn trees taller than any natural thing Katie had seen in her life. It was like staring up at the Sears Tower, there was no way of guessing how tall they stood. Lights were gleaming in the leaves and branches, glimmers of green and gold and silver through the trees. 

 

“Welcome,” Haldir said, turning towards the company, “to Caras Galadhon! Here is the city of the Galadhrim and here dwell the Lord Celeborn and Galadriel, the Lady of Lórien.” 

 

Haldir led them around the wall to the southern gate and at last, they crossed a white bridge and through the gates into the city. They followed their guide down winding paths and up narrow stairs, climbing up the levels of the city until they reached the largest tree Katie had seen yet. Its trunk was wider than any they had passed yet and even its lowest branches were far, far above their heads. A white ladder hung down the trunk of the tree and at its foot, three elves were stationed, all of them clad in mail with white cloaks around their shoulders. 

 

_Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,_ Katie panicked internally as Haldir explained that this was where they would find Celeborn and Galadriel and that they wished to speak with them. There was then a series of signaling horns blown by elven guards and Haldir led the way, bidding that Frodo follow behind him and Legolas after. The rest of them followed as they may, Boromir going first, followed by Katie, then Merry, Gimli, Pippin, and Aragorn bringing up the rear. 

 

It was a fucking long climb. They passed lets on all sides until finally, fucking _finally_ , they reached a wide _talan_. _Like the deck of a giant ship_ , Katie remembered reading. It was a massive platform suspended in the tree branches, with a house built at the back of it, as big, if not bigger, than the tiny little house Katie was (or is?) renting with her roommates. They were in an ovular sort of almost chamber, with the massive mallorn growing up through the center of the softly let room. There were elves stationed around the perimeter of the place, but Katie’s eyes were drawn to the two sitting centered before them. 

 

There was no mistaking Celeborn and Galadriel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought in a comment and drop me a kudos if you liked it!
> 
> Natalie out.


	7. The More You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knowledge is a stressful thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was wrong when I said this chapter would be up soon and I am very sorry for that. I miscalculated how much time it takes to move.
> 
> But yeah, here's a new chapter!
> 
> I still don't own anything but Katie. If I did, I'd have The Best internet package you can imagine.

As Katie crested the _talan_ , she was stricken by the vision that was Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. They stood to greet them and towered above Katie’s 5’8” frame, the pair of them unearthly in their beauty. The Lord and Lady surveyed her silently for a moment and Katie was taken aback when Galadriel met her eyes and held her gaze intently. 

 

“Welcome, Katherine Zimmer,” Celeborn said aloud, and Katie gaped for a moment in surprise before she collected herself. 

 

“I- it’s an honor to meet you, Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel,” she stammered out, nodding to both of them and taking the empty seat beside Boromir. She had only just sat down when she felt what she could only describe as a foreign presence at the edge of her mind. 

 

_‘Welcome, Katherine, to the Golden Wood. Know that you are safe and wanted here,’_ Katie heard what could only be the Lady’s voice within the space of her own mind. She spoke with a sincerity that Katie had never before heard in a person’s voice and was brought to the verge of tears by her promise of security.

 

_‘Thank you,’_ she tried to reply and she watched as the corners of the Lady’s lips curved upwards in the slightest of smiles. Katie was then brought out of her almost trance-like state by a hand on her shoulder and she turned to see Boromir looking over at her with concern. She gave him a half-smile, a silent promise of an explanation later, an gave his hand a squeeze before returning her attention to the ladder as the others made their way up to join them. 

 

Once they were all seated, Celeborn and Galadriel returned to their seats and looked them over. 

 

“Here there are nine, but not the nine who set out from Rivendell,” he said, eyeing Katie. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, suddenly self-conscious of her snow boots and Illini sweatshirt, and averted her gaze, her eyes instead flitting between the leaves that littered the platform before her. “Perhaps there has been some change of counsel we have not heard of,” he mused. 

 

“There was no change of counsel,” the Lady Galadriel finally spoke aloud for the first time, the voice matching the one Katie had heard in her head. “Gandalf the Grey was with them, but did not pass the borders of this land. Where is he? I can no longer see him from afar. I much desired to speak with him.”

 

The fellowship was silent for a moment, trading looks between one another until finally Aragorn sake up and explained what had happened to the Istar. He recounted the tale of what had happened in Moria and as he spoke, Katie felt the tears pricking at the corners of her eyes again. She had pushed her grief and her guilt to the back of her mind while they traveled, but now there was nothing left to distract her and she could feel the tears threatening to spill over. _No. Stop. You can cry later. Not in front of Galadriel. Not. In front. Of Galadriel._

 

_‘There is no shame in tears,’_ Katie’s thoughts were interrupted by Galadriel’s voice in her head again and she jumped in her seat in surprise. Boromir shot her a concerned look, but she dismissed it with a shake of her head. 

 

Katie half listened as they spoke at length of the events in Moria until the sound of her own name brought her out of her thoughts. 

 

“Katie,” Merry said sharply from her other side, giving her shoulder a little shove. 

 

“Huh?” she reacted intelligently, as she had not been listening to the last few minutes of conversation. Merry jerked his head towards the Lord and Lady. Katie’s eyes snapped to them and saw an expressionless face on Lord Celeborn and a slightly amused but somehow sorrowful one on Lady Galadriel’s. “I’m sorry, what- what did you-“

 

“How did you come to join this company?” Celeborn asked, Katie assumed for the second time. 

 

“I- well, they showed up on my doorstep,” she began. “I don’t know how the magic worked, Gan-Gandalf was the one who understood it,” the wizard’s name stuck in her throat for a moment before she forced it out. “I’m not from this world, let me start there,” she said plainly. “The Fellowship showed up on my doorstep one night, I sheltered them for a week while Gandalf worked out how to return to the world, and when he figured it out, I got swept up in the spell, I guess,” she explained. “Gandalf said that he would speak to you, Lady Galadriel, about finding a way to return me home, but I don’t want to be a burden on you, there are way more important things to worry about right now than me,” she finished hurriedly, ignoring the sorrowful look from Boromir at her words. 

 

Aragorn took up the conversation again and while they continued to speak about the quest, Katie felt the presence of the Lady Galadriel in her mind once more. 

 

_‘You know more than you let on,’_ she remarked. _‘You are wise to keep that knowledge close.’_

 

_‘Did I- Did I do the right thing? Not telling them what I knew about Moria?’_ Katie asked desperately, looking up at Lady Galadriel before her. She was certain that despair was clear in her eyes and she could hardly bring herself to care. 

 

_‘Even the wisest cannot tell the best decisions,’_ she replied. Katie huffed out a laugh in spite of herself. 

 

_‘I’ve heard it said that one shouldn’t ask advice of elves, for they will say both yes and no,’_ she thought before she could stop herself. _‘Oh, fuck, I’m sorry, I mean no disrespect-‘_

 

_‘No offense was taken, child,’_ Galadriel cut her off good-naturedly.

 

“Do not let your hearts be troubled,” she said aloud, both conversations coming to an end. “Tonight you shall sleep in peace.”

 

“Go,” Celeborn agreed. “You are worn with sorrow and toil. Even if your quest did not concern us so closely, you would have refuge in this city until you were healed and refreshed. Go, rest. There has been enough talk of the road ahead.”

 

A different elf, not Haldir this time, led them then down the ladder, up coiling ramps, and down winding pathways all the way to a clearing where they would be staying for the night. At least, Katie had assumed that it would be all of them staying for the night. At least, Katie had assumed that it would be all of them staying there until the elf politely asked that she wait to lay her things down. 

 

“Is something wrong?” she asked, confused, drawing Boromir’s attention.

 

“No, we merely have prepared separate quarters for you, Miss Zimmer,” the elf replied.

 

“Why can she not remain with us?” Boromir asked, suspicion and concern audible in his voice as he came up beside Katie. The elf leveled the Gondorian captain with a glare before turning back to Katie. 

 

“If you wish to refuse the Lady Galadriel’s hospitality that is your prerogative,” he said cooly. 

 

“No, no, it’s fine, it’ll be nice to have a little me time after traveling with these nerds for so long anyway,” she said lightly in an attempt to diffuse the tension and giving Boromir a little smile to let him know that she was okay with this, she’d be alright. Both Boromir and the elf pursed their lips, though Katie suspected for vastly different reasons, and with one more little reassuring smile to her friend, Katie followed the elf along another path to what she guessed was something of a guest house. There, she was met by the sight of a real bed for the first time in weeks and she smiled at the sight. It was little more than a cot, but at this point, she would take anything over the hard ground of the forest floor. With a tight and strictly polite smile, she thanked the elf and insisted that she was fine, watching him go until he was out of sight.

 

Once she was alone, Katie closed the door behind her and leaned back against it, letting out a heavy sigh that seemed to just deflate her entire body. Without the pressure of other people watching her, she let her posture slump, let what semblance of false confidence she had been putting on fall away. She was exhausted. From her place leaning against the door, katie just stared at the bed in the center of the adjacent wall. She had a _bed_ to sleep in that night. Although, she couldn’t seem to make herself move from the door. She was finally getting the chance to be alone, to decompress, and the exhaustion was seeping deep into her bones and flooding into her heart. 

 

Her entire body was sore. Her feet and legs from walking and running, her arms from climbing, her back from carrying what little she could. Katie could feel her feet throbbing inside her snow boots and let her body slide down the door so she could plant her ass on the ground. Bending forward to untie her boots, Katie let out a hiss of pain as the movement stretched a particularly tense muscle in her mid back.

 

She moved slowly as she untied the laces and unceremoniously tossed the blood and mud stained boots aside. Her feet free from their insulated prison, Katie peeled off her socks and reveled in the feeling of the slightly chilly floor under her bare feet. As she sat there, back against the door and arms limp at her sides, she watched as her feet lost traction on the floor’s wood paneling, slipping further and further out until her legs were fully extended, her left foot just a few inches shy of the cot that awaited her once she managed to get up. 

 

Her toenail polish was chipped.

 

That sight, the sight of her dirty, sweaty feet with nails that needed trimming and polish that needed a touch-up struck a chord deep with in her - a low and sorrowful chord. It had tears welling up in her eyes. _Why? Why_ the fuck was she crying over nail polish of all things? At least she wasn’t full-on sobbing, she figured, and that was something of a consolation. 

 

Until it occurred to her that she wouldn’t be able to fix her nail polish, maybe ever.

 

And as soon as that thought came to her, Katie felt the sob building in her chest before it escaped her lips. Unable to stare at her chipped toenails another second, she pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms, hugging herself as her body shook with sobs. 

 

She wasn’t okay. 

 

She could tell herself and tell the world everything to the contrary but the fact of the matter was that she was _far_ from okay.

 

She’d managed to push it all to the back of her mind for the last few weeks, but she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t pretend anymore. She felt the familiar chill of her anxiety beginning to take hold of her heart, leeching out into her veins as she sat there on the smooth wooden floor and wiped at her eyes. Looking up at the cot, the exhaustion hit Katie again and she hauled herself to her feet, dragging her feet as she crossed the room, collapsing onto the surprisingly soft bed. It almost felt like her bed at home.

 

_Home_.

 

And the tears were back. Katie wanted nothing more in that moment than to just _go home_. She had never been the homesick type, not really. She always knew that if she really _needed_ to go home, she could just go. When she was a kid and went to those week-long sleep-away camps, she knew she could just call home if she needed to. When she went away to college, she could always hop in her car and be home in a matter of hours. Even overseas, if all else failed, she could buy a plane ticket.

 

But here?

 

She couldn’t do shit. No matter how much she wanted to go home - she wanted it more than _anything_ \- she couldn’t do anything about it. It was that realization that had the tears spilling over and sent her sobbing, finally letting it all out — her homesickness, her anxieties, her insecurities, her sorrow, and her anger.

 

Katie didn’t belong here, in Middle Fucking Earth with elves and dwarves and hobbits and wizards. She was a _millennial_. In what reality was she supposed to be able to handle this? She was supposed to be spending her life racking up debt, moving back in with her parents, spending too much time with technology, and romanticizing the ideas of getting a job and finding a decent place to live, not running around in the fucking wilderness in another world entirely.

 

Katie belonged back home with her electricity and her education and her loved ones. _Fuck_ , she missed home _so much_. Lying down on this bed here in Lothlòrien, she was surrounded by beauty, plenty, safety, and so many incredible things to be thankful for and yet all she wanted was to be at home, in _her_ bed, with _her_ pillow and _her_ teddy bear. 

 

_I’m such an ungrateful_ ** _ass_** _,_ Katie angrily scolded herself, only making herself cry harder and burying her face in the foreign pillow in an attempt to muffle the noise. She had no right to be doing this, the Lady Galadriel had taken her in, she should be thankful for all that she and the Fellowship had done for her. They didn’t have to do _shit_ for her, and yet they had let her tag along with them, they had protected her, and they had been kind to her. And here she was, crying her fucking eyes out and soaking the goddamned pillow to boot.

 

But she missed home _so much_. She missed her house. Both her parents’ house and the one she shared with her roommates. She missed her laptop and her coffee maker and her guitar. She missed her dumbass roommates who weren’t really dumbasses, but whom she liked to affectionately refer to as such. She missed her family. She missed her dad and her dumb brother and her mom — _God_ , her mom. They’d parted ways on such a negative note and now- now she might never get the chance to mend things. She was never going to see her family or her friends again, most likely, unless Galadriel actually had a way for her to get home. 

 

Katie wasn’t going to bet on that. 

 

She was stuck here, forever, probably. She was never seeing her loved ones again and they were never going to be seeing her.

 

She’d been gone for two weeks now. She’d missed the beginning of the semester, the beginning of her sixth semester of her undergraduate program. There was no way that she was going to be able to catch up now and _why the fuck_ was _that,_ of all things, making her cry more? _God, I must be fucked up if it’s school that I’m the most worried about here,_ she remarked inwardly. Classes were due to start about a week after she- after the incident? after she disappeared? after all this shit went down.

 

Dani was supposed to move back to campus two days after she disappeared. Katie couldn’t even imagine what Dani must be going through. Walking into the house, expecting to find her friend there, only to find the place empty? She probably tried to call her — ten times within as many minutes, if she knew Dani at all — and then- then what? Did everyone think that she was kidnapped? _Dead_ , even? What did they all think?

 

Did they even miss her?

 

_No,_ Katie scolded herself as soon as that thought crossed her mind. _Your family and your friends love you, you know that and no amount of anxiety can change that,_ she tried to tell herself firmly. _But it’s not as if I was important,_ her anxiety argued back, _mom was upset with me anyway, everyone else was doing fine while I lived on my own, they might not even care._

 

_No,_ Katie argued back. _No, that can’t be true. That_ ** _isn’t_** _true._

 

_At least, I’m pretty sure_.

 

And what the fuck was there to keep her with the Fellowship now? She was useless to them — worse than useless, she was a liability. She couldn’t fight, she couldn’t heal, she had _no_ marketable skills on a quest; she couldn’t even defend herself, let alone help to defend the others. 

 

She wouldn’t blame them if they _did_ leave her behind. She’d just slow them all down and make their lives more difficult, she didn’t want to be a burden on them. 

 

But at the same time, in spite of all her insecurities and her anxieties, Katie couldn’t shake the feeling that these guys had become her friends, Boromir especially. He’d been such a good friend to her, more like a brother, really. He made her feel safe. _Fuck, that makes me sound like a goddamned damsel in distress,_ Katie lamented inwardly. She didn’t like relying on other people; she preferred knowing that should something happen, she could take care of herself.

 

And this reliance on the Fellowhsip? _I’m just burdening them and bringing them down,_ Katie’s anxiety insisted. _Surely they didn’t want her there, she was just an obstacle, a handicap._

 

_What if they_ ** _do_** _leave me in Lothlòrien?_ Katie worried. _Not like I would blame them if they did._

 

_I don’t belong here._

 

* * *

 

Katie would have slept in well past noon if she had been given the opportunity. She slept soundly until dawn, when dappled sunlight through the windows of the guest house stirred her awake. She rolled out of her cot and hauled herself to her feet. Pulling a blanket from the cot, she slung it around her shoulders like a cape and crossed to the window, resting her elbows on the sill. Staring out into the expanse of Lothlórien, Katie was overwhelmed by an inexplicable sense of peace and serenity, a sharp contrast from her little break-down last night. Something about the magic of this place was calming to her heart. She felt her worries begin to melt away as she lost herself in the landscape, her eyes trailing the never-ending mallorn branches as she relished in the soft, sweet breeze that caressed her face. 

 

Katie spent a good half hour staring out into the trees before exhaustion came over her again and she returned to bed, letting herself sleep for another few hours until she was awoken by someone knocking on her door. As she was hauling herself out of bed, the knocking came again.

 

“Ju-“ she tried to call to the visitor, though her voice came out hoarse on the first try. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “Just a sec!” Pulling that same blanket off of the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders again, she padded across the room, blinking blearily as she opened the door. 

 

“Good morning,” Aragorn greeted her. Lifting her head to properly look at the man who towered over her, Katie blinked up at him tiredly, smiling as best as she could while barely awake. 

 

“Morning,” she croaked out.

 

“Would you care to join the rest of us for breakfast?” he asked, trace bits of amusement in his voice. Katie nodded, yawning widely. 

 

“Ye-yeah, lemme get my shoes,” she said through her yawn, inwardly grateful that she was already dressed (or, more accurately, had slept in her clothes). Turning from the door, she left it open as she shucked off the blanket, threw it on the cot, and snatched up her snowboots. _Man_ , she wished she had a change of clothes. Once her boots were tied she was back on her feet and at the door again. Closing it behind her, she followed Aragorn as he began to lead the way through the wood.

 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked after a bit. Katie shrugged. 

 

“Well enough,” she replied. “Once I was asleep I was out like a light though, so that’s something, I suppose.”

 

“I’m glad,” Aragorn said from beside her. “We had all grown tired and weary after the weeks we’ve had.”

 

“What about the rest of you?” Katie asked. 

 

“Well enough,” the ranger parroted her words back to her, catching her by surprise and making her snort with laughter. They chatted amiably for a little while longer until they crested a small hill, coming up on a wide clearing. At the center stood a gazebo-like structure, open and airy, inside was a long table laden with dishes and carafes, and sat around the table were the remaining members of the fellowship. Breakfast proceeded to be a cheerful affair, a perfect feast of fresh food and drink, but the tangible melancholy began to reclaim them all after awhile. 

 

Katie politely excused herself to wander the wood for awhile, but she had hardly been walking for a minute when she heard footsteps coming up behind her. Turning over her shoulder, she saw Boromir striding up the path behind her.

 

“Would you mind if I joined you?” he asked when he reached her. Katie paused a bit before responding.

 

“Not at all,” she finally said. Maybe a little company would do her good.

 

They walked in silence for a long while. Katie took the time to enjoy the scenery and try not to think about her problems but soon enough, the silence between her and Boromir turned tense.

 

“Did she- did the Lady speak to you?” he asked, breaking the silence.

 

“She did, yeah,” Katie confirmed. “You?” she asked, looking up at him. He nodded. 

 

A few more moments passed in silence as they walked until they came upon the bank of the river that passed through Caras Galadhon. Still wordlessly, Katie directed them towards the bank and planted herself on the ground, leaning against the trunk of a massive mallorn, looking out on the water. It wasn’t long before Boromir sat beside her. 

 

“She knows that I- that I know how your stories go,” Katie finally said, swallowing thickly. “She said I was welcome here, that I was safe here, and then she went and dropped that bombshell that she knows what I- what I know.”

 

“She said to me that there is still hope for the world of men,” Boromir said, his doubt and disbelief clear in his voice. He scoffed a bit at the notion. “What hope is there?” he asked, turning to Katie to see her looking up at him with tears welling up in her eyes. 

 

“I want to tell you _so badly_ ,” she said, her voice breaking as the tears spilled over. “ _Fuck_ ,” she cursed emphatically, angrily wiping at her eyes. “I want to tell you the bad things that’ll happen so you can prevent them, I want to tell you the good things to give you hope, but I can’t tell you a _fucking thing!”_

 

“What is the harm in telling us what is to come?” Boromir asked gently.

 

“All actions have consequences,” Katie began, her voice dull and almost lifeless, a sharp contrast from the anger she had just expressed. “There’s no telling how the things I do today will affect the things that happen tomorrow, let alone months or years from now. I know what’s going to happen, or at least what was originally slated to happen. My presence here might have fucked everything up already and I wouldn’t even know it. What happens if I tell you about something that’s supposed to happen and you all decide to try to prevent it?” she asked, turning her tired eyes to the man beside her.

 

“If anything was set in motion by that event, that wouldn’t be the case,” Boromir guessed. Katie nodded. 

 

“But then again, what if I try to prevent something awful and it turns out alright?” she asked. “And what if, what if I tell you about something good that will happen and it changes how you behave, and because of those changes, it doesn’t happen it all?” she asked. Agitatedly, she began to run her fingers through her hair, but they caught on the tangles and Katie hissed in pain as she tried to extract her hands. 

 

“Galadriel is right though,” she said after a moment. Boromir furrowed his brow at her in confusion. “There _is_ hope for men,” she said, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. “I can’t tell you why, and I can’t tell you how I know, but there _is_ hope.” Boromir gave her a disbelieving look that bordered on pity. 

 

“You bear enough of a burden, Katie, without trying to soothe my worries,” he said, squeezing her hand back in return. 

 

“Shut up, you’re my friend, it’s my job,” she said, trying desperately to get herself out of her dour headspace and back to some kind or normalcy.

 

“Come on, then,” Boromir said, getting to his feet and reaching down to the young woman. She took his proffered hand and hauled herself up as well. “Let’s go find the others, they’ve surely found the bathhouses by now,” he said with a little smile. At the prospect of a bath for the first time in weeks, Katie felt her lips turn upwards in a genuine smile for the first time all day. 

 

Worrying could wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Drop me a kudos if you liked it and let me know what you thought in a comment!


	8. Mirror, Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the list of things Katie expected to happen once arriving in Middle Earth, being called to look into Galadriel's mirror was at the bottom (dying was at the top, if she was honest), and what she saw had never crossed her wildest imaginings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in two days?? Who tf have I become? This chapter's a bit of a doozy and I have been waiting for a g e s to get to this bit and ngl, I'm real anxious to see what y'all think.
> 
> I still don't own Lord of the Rings. All I can claim is Katie and my small, couch-less apartment.
> 
> Enjoy!

After a few days in Lothlórien, Katie had finally begun to relax. She could bathe every day again, she got her hands on something resembling a toothbrush, she had _clean clothes_ , and she was feeling pretty good, all things considered. On Boromir’s advice, she had let herself push her worries about the future aside for awhile and she was doing significantly better for it. She had begun to fall into a routine and it had been good for her. She’d get breakfast with the fellowship, bathe in the morning, eat lunch with whoever was around, explore all afternoon, dine with the Fellowship, drink with them well into the evening, and then crawl back into bed in her guest house. 

 

It was lovely, quiet, and all kinds of wonderful.

 

Katie was wandering out of the dining hall after a peaceful and solitary lunch a few days into their stay when she was approached by an elf she did not recognize.

 

“Miss Zimmer?” he asked as he approached. Katie nodded. 

 

“Yes, can I help you?” she asked politely. 

 

“The Lady Galadriel wishes to speak with you. If you would follow me,” he said, leaving no room for argument as he turned back the way he came and started walking, clearly expecting Katie to follow. She stood there dumbstruck for a moment before her brain caught up and she hurried to catch up with the elf. 

 

“Can you tell me why she wants to speak with me?” she asked. The elf gave her a very slightly contemptuous side-eye.

 

“I did not ask,” he said curtly. Katie sighed heavily. _Fine_. 

 

_‘Patience, young one,’_ a feminine voice with a slightly amused tone said within the confines of Katie’s mind, making her jump in surprise. The elf shook his head at her as he walked ahead and Katie childishly stuck her tongue out at him. 

 

_‘Apologies, my Lady,’_ Katie replied internally to the Lady Galadriel. _‘Any chance you would be willing to tell me what you wish to speak with me about?’_ she dared to ask. The elven woman did not respond, but her presence in Katie’s mind took on an almost amused sort of mood, though a bit long-suffering in nature. Resigning herself to waiting to speak to Galadriel in person, Katie returned her attention to the paths she walked, sobering up when her escort approached the entrance to a courtyard. The elf led her inside and there, standing facing a bubbling fountain, was the Lady of the Golden Wood. 

 

“Miss Katherine Zimmer, my Lady,” the elf presented her, and Galadriel turned then to look at them. 

 

“Thank you, Amras.”

 

The elf bowed to the Lady and proceeded to leave the two women alone. Katie took a moment to look around the courtyard and saw, to her surprise and little bit of terror, an object that could only be Galadriel’s mirror. 

 

“You know what this is,” Galadriel stated, approaching the mirror and laying a hand upon its rim. “Would you look into the mirror?”

 

“Why?” Katie asked warily. “Why me?”

 

Galadriel only gave her a secret little half-smile and gestured to the mirror. Katie pursed her lips, but she went along with the Lady’s request and approached the mirror, standing before it with her hands resting on the rim. 

 

“You can’t tell me what I’ll see,” Katie stated. The Lady Galadriel shook her head. “Alright,” Katie said under her breath and with a bit of a sigh, “let’s do this.”

 

Katie looked down into the mirror and at first, she saw nothing, but then colors began to fade into view, swirling and changing, until they organized themselves into a clear image. It was an infant. A newborn baby in a room that looked like it belonged in an old fashioned cottage. The room was full of women of all ages, about three of them occupied with cleaning the blood and nastiness off of the newborn girl. _Well, if this kid ended up being cis, then she was a girl_ , Katie amended her thought process. 

 

Regardless of the child’s gender identity, Katie watched as one of the women wiped the blood off of the baby’s right shoulder to reveal a blotchy brown birth mark — the same birth mark that Katie got self conscious about once tank top season rolled around. It was her. It was little baby Katie. But- but that didn’t make sense. Katie had been born in a hospital, this- this wasn’t right, but there was no mistaking her birth mark. Activity in the mirror drew her attention back and she watched as one of the women wrapped the baby in a blanket and crossed the room to a bed where a very exhausted woman lay — a woman with damp, dirty blonde hair and an oddly familiar dimple in her chin. 

 

“Léofwyn?” the woman holding the baby addressed the woman in the bed. She perked up and when her eyes fell on the bundle of blankets that held the baby, her face lit up with joy. 

 

“Is that-“ she asked, looking up at the woman as she approached her bedside. 

 

“Your baby girl,” the woman confirmed with a smile as she passed the baby to Léofwyn. 

 

“Katlyn,” the new mother murmured to the bundle. “Welcome to the world, sweetheart.”

 

The scene in the mirror changed. The woman, Léofwyn, was carrying the same child (she looked to be about eight months old now) on her hip while she walked through a village, talking animatedly to another woman who carried a child of her own.

 

It changed again and now the girl, this little Katlyn, was taking her first steps, running towards a man who could only be her father. The man let the toddler crash right into his waiting arms and he scooped her up with a joyous laugh, praising her for a job well done and upon her request, swinging her around like a sack of potatoes, a game that had the girl giggling like mad. 

 

The scene changed for a third time and now the village was collectively screaming in terror. There was a rumbling deep underground and a strange glowing light was beginning to grow in the center of the square; a light that most everyone was running from, but not curious little Katlyn. The toddler, about two years old now, broke free of her father’s arms and ran towards the pretty light, reaching out to touch it. As soon as she did, everything stopped. The earth was still, the light had vanished, and so had Katlyn. 

 

Katlyn was in a home with about ten other children now. She was the baby of the household and people called her Katherine now because they kept misunderstanding her when she told them her name. 

 

Katie remembered this. Now that she was faced with it, she remembered this. This was insane, this was impossible, this was-

 

The scene changed again and a car pulled up in the driveway of the group home. A young man and woman — _Mom? Dad? —_ got out of the car and approached little Katherine. They told her that they were going to be her new mommy and daddy and that they were going home. 

 

_But that was wrong,_ Katie could remember thinking. _She already had a mommy and daddy. Mommy would take her along to go to the well for water for the day and let her play with Fila while her mommy got water too. Daddy would come home from working out in the fields and smell super stinky but he would always tuck her in to bed at night and tell her whatever stories she wanted._

 

_These new people weren’t her mommy and daddy._

 

And yet, it seemed that they would be now. 

 

The mirror then showed flashes of moments and as they went, they became things that Katie remembered quite clearly. There was the day that Tommy came home from the hospital, that day in second grade when she sneezed really bad and got snot all over her desk, her first day of middle school, her first time away at summer camp, graduating from high school, meeting her current roommates, all the way up to the day when the Fellowship of the Fucking Ring showed up on her doorstep. 

 

From there, there were more flashes, but they were unfamiliar this time. They were things she hadn’t seen before, things she prayed to never witness, and things she desperately wished to see. She saw herself flipping someone off; she heard her own panicked voice shouting Boromir’s name and watched as an arrow buried itself in his chest; she saw Boromir in Minas Tirith, reunited with Faramir, and she watched as she hugged her own brother, a new scar on her cheek and tears in her eyes. 

 

Her head reeling, Katie tore herself away from the mirror and back to reality, stumbling back away from it and glaring at the object, her jaw tightly clenched. 

 

“What. The hell. Was that,” she demanded to know, glaring up at the elven woman before her. She was silent. “I know how this works, I know you saw all of that, so _what the_ ** _fuck_** _did I just see?_ ” Katie demanded, her voice growing in volume the angrier she got. 

 

“Katherine-“

 

“No! _Apparently,_ it’s _fucking_ ** _Katlyn!_** I have been living a lie for as long as I can remember and you are just _standing there!_ ” Katie cried. “Gandalf was right! When he brought us back, he thought it was a mistake that I was dragged along, but it wasn’t! He said the spell only affected people already tied to this world, people _born here!_ He thought it was a mistake, but this is where I’m from! This- this is where I’m _from_. I was _born here_. I-“ Katie cut herself off and sank to the ground, her elbows resting on her knees and her hands fisted in her hair. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the Lady Galadriel approaching her. 

 

“It is true that your origins are not what you had once believed them to be,” the Lady of the Golden Wood said calmly, and Katie looked up at her to see a sympathetic look on her face. “But you are presented with a unique opportunity. You must make a choice, young one,” she said. “You can remain here, where we might find a way for you to return to the home you know, or you can continue on and search for the family you were taken from. That is your decision to make, daughter of Bregdan.”

 

“Bregdan?” Katie asked for clarification. “Is that my-“

 

“Your father, yes,” Galadriel confirmed. 

 

“And that woman, Léofwyn?” Katie asked. 

 

“She is your mother.” 

 

* * *

 

When Katie left Galadriel’s courtyard, it was in a daze. She was adopted. Her mom and dad, the man and woman who had raised her, were not her biological parents. No, that honor went to some couple in Rohan, a couple she didn’t even _know_. God, she was from _Rohan_. She barely understood how this had happened, but she supposed the ‘how’ of it all didn’t really matter. 

 

She was born in Rohan, some freak portal sent her to the world she called home, she was adopted, and her name was _Katlyn_. 

 

These were the facts, the new information she had about herself and her family. 

 

Katie felt like she should be angry; angry at her parents- the people who had raised her- for lying to her, angry that she had been taken from her birth parents at all, angry that she had been swept along on this traveling circus and away from another set of parents. And she guessed that she _was_ angry, at least somewhat, but more than anything, she was confused. She felt lost, aimless, almost numb from the shock of it all, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

 

Who the fuck _was_ she?

 

Was she really a Zimmer if she was adopted? _No_ , some little nagging voice in the back of her head insisted. Randy and Linda Zimmer weren’t her parents and Tommy wasn’t her brother. Her family wasn’t her family. She wasn’t a Zimmer, not really. No, she was Rohirric. 

 

What were her birth parents like? What did they do? How did they make their livings? What would Katie have been like if she hadn’t left? What kind of a life would she have led? Would she be married right now to some boy from her village and expected to carry his children? Would she be literate? What kinds of skills would she have? Would she even _look_ the same? She definitely wouldn’t have a tattoo. Or so many ear piercings. 

 

What the _hell_ was happening?

 

Katie walked in her daze until, by some miracle, she stumbled into the clearing around which the Fellowship’s assorted guest houses from the past few days could be found. Suddenly unable to find the energy to make it to her door, she leaned against the trunk of one of the mallorn trees and let herself slide down to the ground, where she buried her head in her hands and tried to think through this insanity. 

 

“Katie?” Boromir’s voice drew her back to reality. Her head snapped back up to look at him and he had never seen her looking so lost. “Are you well? You missed dinner, is everything alright?” he asked with concern, crouching beside her and extending a cautious hand out towards her. She looked up at him and she tried to answer, she really did, she’d swear it in front of God himself, but then her lower lip started to tremble and that was the end of her resolve. 

 

She shook her head and immediately, Boromir was crouching beside her and she had flung her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. For awhile, Boromir just held her, letting her cry — partially because he had no idea what to say and partially because that used to work with Faramir when he was little. Her body shook with her sobs, loud an anguished, and he could not imagine what had brought her to this state. She had been on the brink of tears the other day with the stress of the knowledge she bore, but this was different. This was something big, if the nagging feeling in the back of his head had anything to say about it. Finally, after those few long minutes, Katie began to calm down. Her sobs grew gentler, there weren’t as many tears, and eventually, she released her grip on her friend and withdrew from him, wiping at her eyes and sniffling. 

 

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Boromir asked carefully, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

 

“I-“ she started, but cut herself off. “Yeah, but I only wanna tell it once, where are the others?” 

 

“They’re still eating, but they’ll be along soon,” Boromir answered easily. 

 

Nodding, Katie fell back against the tree, letting her eyes fall closed. After a few minutes of silence, it was broken by the carrying voices of chattering hobbits, and it wasn’t long before the rest of the Fellowship crossed into the clearing, eyes immediately falling on Katie, their expressions growing concerned as they took in her crumpled expression. 

 

“Everything alright, Katie?” Merry asked readily, taking it upon himself to sit beside her. Katie shrugged. “We missed you at dinner,” he went on as the others trickled into the clearing. “Oi, any of you lot got some food in your pockets? Katie hasn’t eaten!” he called, bringing a smile to the young woman’s face. Pippin, Sam, and Legolas, surprisingly enough, were quick to produce bread, cheese, and a wineskin, and it was all passed to Katie who took it gratefully. 

 

“What’s wrong, lass? Don’t think we’ve ever seen you so low,” Gimli asked after she had eaten most of what they had offered and once the chatter had died down a bit. Katie bit her lip in hesitation, but steeled herself. _They can help. They’re your friends._

 

“The Lady Galadriel asked me to go speak with her today,” she began. “She has a way of looking into the future, the present and the past. ‘Things that were, things that are, and some things that have not yet come to pass,’” she quoted somewhat bitterly. “I-“ she stopped herself, taking another deep breath and doing her best to collect herself. She took another swig from the wineskin before continuing. 

 

“She had me look into this mirror of hers and what I saw, I-“ she stopped again, burying her head in her hands and angry at herself for not being able to just _tell them what happened, dammit_. Beside her, Boromir laid a comforting hand between her shoulder blades, wordlessly reminding her that she was not alone. They were all there for her and would support her; they were her friends and would not abandon her. 

 

It all just spilled out. 

 

She didn’t even look up at them as she told them what she’d seen. She did lift her head up out of her hands, but she couldn’t look at any of them, her gaze instead fixed on a tuft of grass in the earth beneath their feet. 

 

“So yeah. I was born in Rohan,” she finally said after a long explanation. “Gandalf was right about the spell he used to bring you back here. He said that the spell was designed to affect people born in Middle Earth. He thought something went wrong when I was just swept along for the fucking ride, but-“ she broke herself off with a cry of frustration, anger, and something akin to grief. “But I’m from _here_. I was born in _this world_. My birth parents are called Bregdan and Léofwyn and they’re from Rohan. I-“ she cut herself off again, fisting her hands in the hair at her temples. 

 

“What are you going to do?” Sam asked softly. Katie opened her mouth to reply, but when no words would come, she closed it again, shaking her head and shrugging instead. 

 

“I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, kids. Let me know what you thought in a comment and drop me a kudos if you liked it!


	9. Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Internal turmoil is super fun~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thanks for hanging in there with this long wait. Sorry it took me so long to update, grad school has consumed my life. Also sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than others, tbh its a combo of having zero time to write and also finding a good stopping point. 
> 
> NOW, before we begin, I have IMPORTANT WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER.
> 
> This chapter contains scenes of members of the LGBTQIA+ community coming out to mixed reception. If that's something that's difficult for you to read, I totally understand and this is your heads up! The coming out stuff is self-contained within the italicized chunks of text so if you need to skip those scenes, you'll be safe to jump back in after that (specifically, between the 6th and 7th page breaks). If you do decide to skip the italics, those are a series of Katie's memories of her family and friends, some positive and some negative. Once you see italicized "in-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6" repeated between other short lines of text, you're good to go.
> 
> Happy reading!

Katie couldn’t sleep. 

 

She had claimed exhaustion after awhile of talking through her recent revelation with the Fellowship, and she _had_ been tired, in her defense. 

 

But now, lying in the bed in her guest house, sleep eluded her. She couldn’t get Bregdan and Léofwyn’s faces out of her head. She kept replaying the happy memories of her early, early childhood in her mind, thinking about the vision of her- her _mother_ carrying her on her hip like it was the most natural thing in the world and the sight of her father’s proud smile on his bearded face as she took her first steps into his arms. 

 

They were so _happy_. 

 

What kind of grief had they suffered when she disappeared? How did they cope? _Did_ they cope? Katie felt a pang of sorrow strike her heart at the thought of her birth parents having to live through the loss of their daughter. They had obviously loved her. They had loved her so dearly, and they seemed to be genuinely kind people. She hoped, above all else, that their loss hadn’t broken them. They didn’t deserve that. 

 

_But neither did she._

 

Katie herself didn’t deserve to be torn from her birth family. _Or from her adopted one_. 

 

And that was the other thing, how could her mom and dad have lied to her for all these years? 

 

With that that thought, the anger was back, and Katie clenched her fists in her sheets, biting her lips to keep from crying out in frustration. They _lied_ to her. She might have understood if they had waited to tell her she was adopted until she turned eighteen, but she was _twenty-one years old._ She was an adult. They should have told her the truth. 

 

* * *

 

_“Katie!” said girl heard her mom’s voice call up the stairs._

 

_“What?” she hollered back._

 

_“Time to go!” her mom shouted and Katie’s eyes flew to the clock on her bedside table. 9:43, it read, and Katie felt a flash of panic as she scrambled to her feet and over to the mirror on the back of the door._

 

_“Be down in a minute!” she called, and heard her mom’s footsteps downstairs retreating towards the front door. Frantically, Katie assessed her appearance - did her hair look okay? Was her purple shirt_ ** _too_** _purple? Did she have any-_ crap. _Her eyes zeroed in on an angry pimple at the end of her left eyebrow. Dashing to the bathroom, she snatched up her drug store concealer and stuffed it in her pocket to apply in the car before practically flying down the stairs._

 

_“Ready to go, Kit-Kat?” her mom asked, rising from her seat at the kitchen table, her planner open before her._

 

_“Yeah!” Katie huffed out, digging through the closet for her sandals and hurriedly stuffing her feet inside. Taking her purse from her mom’s outstretched hand, the two finally made it out the door, piling into the station wagon. As soon as Katie was seated and buckled, she pulled down the sun shield and mirror on her side and dug her concealer out of her pocket, setting to work._

 

_“Honey, you look fine,” Katie’s mom assured her._

 

_“Mom, I’ve_ **_never_ ** _had a good school photo, I just want_ **_one_ ** _,” she explained. Her mom chuckled a bit in understanding._

 

* * *

 

_"'Sup, bro?" Katie asked as her brother opened the trunk of her car and unceremoniously flung his backpack inside, slamming the door and coming back around to the passenger side. "Hey! Watch the door! This car's got enough problems," she said good-naturedly through the open window as her brother rolled his eyes climbing in._

 

_"Sorry," he apologized somewhat sincerely._

 

_"How was school?" Katie asked as she pulled out of the line of parents outside the high school and pulled into the other line waiting to get out of the parking lot. Tommy shrugged._

 

_"Eh, alright," Tommy replied before launching into a story about a kid in his history class who had broken the chief unspoken rule of class presentations by going first and setting the bar obnoxiously high for the rest of them. They chatted easily for most of the car ride but after awhile fell silent._

 

_**It's okay. He's your brother. He's cool.**   
_

 

_"Hey Tommy?"_

 

_"Yeah?" he replied, looking up from his phone._

 

_"So, uh, I've been meaning to talk to you about this for awhile, but I'm gay," she said bluntly._

 

_"Okay," he replied with a shrug, looking back at his phone._

 

_Katie sat in silence for a second, perturbed by her brother's reaction._

 

_"Did you hear me?" she asked slowly._

 

_"Yeah, you're a big ol' lesbian," Tommy said matter-of-factly._

 

_"I- that's it? You're just cool with it? Just like that?"_

 

_"Do you want me to be upset?"_

 

_"No."_

 

_"It's your love life, I still don't care, no matter who you're into," Tommy said easily, and Katie snorted with laughter at his blunt statement. That snort quickly devolved into full laughter and she actually pulled over a few blocks away from their house so she could finish her laughing fit safely._

 

_"What's so funny?" Tommy asked, though he was smiling and laughing with her. Katie pulled him into an awkward hug over the gear shift and cup holders of her car. "Are you okay?"_

 

_"I'm great, bro," Katie said, giving her little brother a squeeze before releasing him._

 

* * *

 

_“Dad, look out!” Katie cried, drawing his attention to the semi truck on their right that had just turned on its left turn signal and was starting to merge into their lane._

 

_“_ **_Shit!_ ** _” he swore, repeatedly honking his horn until the semi returned to the middle of its lane and turned off its blinker. Katie’s jaw was hanging open. Noticing this, her dad put a comforting hand on her shoulder._

 

_“We’re alright kiddo, we’re alright,” he said in a warm and even tone, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. Still stunned, Katie was silent for a few more moments until she finally found words for her shock._

 

_“You_ **_swore!_ ** _” she exclaimed. “I’ve never heard you swear before, dad!” she crowed, before being overcome with cackling laughter._

 

_“Glad you’re not traumatized by the near car accident,” her dad said dryly over her laughter, though there was a smile on his face._

 

* * *

 

**_Katie:_ ** _bro._

**_Katie:_ ** _did you know_

**_Katie:_ ** _that noodles and company calls their snickerdoodle cookies snoodledoodles_

 

**_Tommy:_ ** _wHAT_

**_Tommy:_ ** _THATS SO PURE I NEVER KNEW_

 

**_Katie:_ ** _ME NEITHER_

 

**_Tommy:_ ** _THATS FUCKING AMAZING_

 

**_Katie:_ ** _IKR_

 

* * *

 

Knock, knock, knock. _Katie looked up from her laptop to see her bedroom door already open and Dani, Sara, Alexis, and Rebecca’s heads peeking in, comically stacked like cartoon characters. She snorted with laughter at the sight._

 

_“Yeah?” she asked, still chuckling. She heard three faint taps on her doorframe followed by a decently unison chorus of_

 

_“Steak’n’Shake?”_

 

_Katie burst out laughing, doubling over as she cackled at her ridiculous friends._

 

_“Hell yeah,” she said, shifting her lap desk and laptop off to the side of her bed and stuffing her feet into her shoes, following her friends and roommates out the door to Alexis’s minivan._

 

* * *

 

_“Hey mom? Dad?” Katie inquired nervously, one arm hugging herself while her other hand fiddled with her necklace. At their daughter’s entrance into the living room, Randy and Linda Zimmer looked up from their books, concern on their faces._

 

_“Yeah, kiddo?” her dad replied easily. “Is everything alright?”_

 

_“I, uh, maybe? I need to talk to you about something,” she said, chewing on her lip._

 

_“Well sit down hon, what is it?” her mom asked, making room for her between her parents on the couch. Moving around the coffee table, Katie took the offered seat, bringing her knees up and hugging them to her chest._

 

_“I- I don’t know where to start,” Katie admitted, and fell silent for a moment. She noted her parents exchanging a look over her head and when her dad wrapped an arm around her shoulders, she gratefully leaned into his side._

 

_Uncle Will is gay. We went to his wedding last summer. Mom and dad will be okay with this. You have gay cousins on dad’s side. Lily’s out to the family. It’s gonna be okay._

 

_“I’m a lesbian.”_

 

_“Oh, that’s what’s got you all anxious?” her dad said._

 

_“And here we thought you were in trouble or something,” her mom said, chuckling. Katie’s eyes welled up with tears as she laughed with relief, burying her face in her knees._

 

_“You know, I suspected you were since you were in high school,” her dad remarked._

 

_“Wait, what?” Katie asked, looking up sharply at her dad. “_ **_I_ ** _just figured that out a year ago!”_

 

_Her dad shrugged._

 

_“We love you, Katie, and I’m sure that we’ll love the woman you fall in love with one day just as much,” her mom said, pulling Katie into a hug and kissing the crown of her head. Katie stiffened._

 

_“I’m not so sure about that,” Katie said, retreating out of her mother’s arms and trying to sit equidistant from each of her parents._

 

_“Oh honey, you just need to meet the right person,” her mom tried to reassure her, reaching out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, but Katie leaned away from her hand._

 

_“No, that’s not what I mean, I-“ Katie disagreed, stopping herself to collect her words. “I’m not just a lesbian, I’m aromantic too,” she elaborated, staring fixedly at a blueish speck of lint on the rug. Her parents didn’t respond. Her mom retracted her hand and clasped her hands together in her lap. Her dad’s brow was furrowed in confusion._

 

_“I don’t think I’ve heard of that before,” her dad finally remarked._

 

_“It’s not very common. It means that I don’t experience romantic attraction. I’ve never had a crush on anybody, I’ve never fallen in love. It’s just not something I experience. So no, mom, that’s not going to happen because I’m_ **_not_ ** _going to gall in love with a woman one day. I- I’m sorry if that’s disappointing for you to hear, but it’s true.”_

 

_“But everyone falls in love,” her mom insisted._

 

_“No, mom, that’s not true.”_

 

_“I’m sure you just need to meet the right person, you have so much love in you, Katie,” her mom barreled on. “You’re bound to find a nice girl who will love you right back,” she went on._

 

_“No, mom,” Katie tried again, more insistent. “Yes, I know I’m a loving person, but none of that is romantic. I love my friends, I love my family, but I just don’t feel love like that! I love you and dad and Tommy and my friends so much but that’s all familial and platonic. This is who I am!”_

 

_There were tears in Katie’s eyes now, but her mom wouldn’t look at her._

 

_“Please try to understand, mom,” Katie pleaded. Her mom’s only response was to get up from the couch and grab the grocery list off of the little paper pad they kept on the fridge._

 

_“I’m going to go make a quick grocery run,” she said, and was out the door. As the door slammed shut, Katie’s tears spilled over and she buried her face in her knees again, not caring to muffle her sobs at this point. She felt more than heard her dad scoot over to sit closer before he pried her hands away from her knees, cradling them in his own._

 

_“She’ll come around,” he said gently. “You know how she is, it took her years to accept that we needed to replace that old couch and even longer to get used to having wifi,” he said, an almost-smile on his face as he moved to rub gentle circles on Katie’s back. “We love you, Katie,” he said firmly, “and nothing will ever change that. If you decide to marry a friend for tax benefits, I will walk you down the aisle. If you decide to have children, your mom and I will be the best grandparents we know how to be. And if you decide to live alone with a few dogs, then we will more than happily dog-sit for you.”_

 

_Katie looked up at her dad then, teary eyed and makeup smudged, and threw her arms around him, hugging him tight._

 

_“Thank you,” she said softly, her voice muffled by her dad’s shoulder._

 

_“Of course, pumpkin.”_

 

* * *

 

Katie woke with a start, eyes snapping open to the darkness of her guest house and breathing heavily. She pulled herself up to sit on her mattress, hugging her knees to her chest and resting her forehead on her arms. _In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6, in-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6,_ she repeated to herself in an effort to regulate her breathing. 

 

They’re not family.

 

_Yes_ , they _are_. 

 

Not really. Not by blood.

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6. In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

They should have said something. They shouldn’t have lied. 

 

_Did Tommy know? If he did, why didn’t he say anything? If he didn’t- well, they didn’t tell me, so why should they have told him?_

 

_Why didn’t they tell me?_

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

What are they like? What are they **really** like? Who are Léofwyn and Bregdan?

 

Are they alive? They live in Rohan, they could’ve been killed by orcs, who knows?

 

They live in Rohan - lived, at least. They could still be there. 

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6_

 

_Galadriel said there was a way for her to send me back. I could go back._

 

_Or I could stay and find Bregdan and Léofwyn._

 

_Or I could stay and save Boromir._

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

_I can’t just abandon him. There has to be a way to save him without ruining the story._

 

_Mom and dad lied to me. They lied to me my whole life._

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

_If I stay, I-_

 

_If I stay-_

 

_Would finding them even be possible?_

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

_If I leave, I’ll never find them. If I leave, there’s no chance at all._

 

_As long as Galadriel’s around, she can send me back._

 

_How long is that?_

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

_A few years at least, if I don’t fuck up the war._

 

_If I stay-_

 

_If I stay, I could find them._

 

_If I stay, I could save him._

 

_In-2-3-4-5-6-7-8, out-2-3-4-5-6._

 

_I can’t leave._

 

_I can’t._

 

_Not yet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you liked it, drop me a kudos and tell me why in a comment! 
> 
> Natalie out.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Let me know in a comment!
> 
> Thanks for reading, Natalie out.


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